Stop Seeking Validation And Fearing Judgment

“There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself.” Miyamoto Musashi

It's in our nature to seek acceptance and a sense of belonging.

We desire harmony in our lives, not turmoil and constant opposition. It is too exhausting and uncomfortable.

To be considered different or to not fit in can be unsettling and a significant source of stress and anxiety. It can cause us to pull away and be reclusive in our thoughts and actions which diminishes our potential to grow in a multitude of ways.

Many of us put too much effort into seeking validation and approval, and at the same time, we are doing whatever we can to avoid facing judgment and criticism, even if it is constructive.

We can have sensitive egos which in turn causes our self-esteem to be held hostage by others.

“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.” Confucius

Residing on this pendulum is a form of imprisonment. It is a restrictive way to live. We are giving the outside world far too much control over our destiny. Nobody really cares as much as we think they do. Everyone else is consumed with their own issues and struggles. They don’t have the time nor energy to dwell on anyone else.

It is you alone that controls your destiny. Nobody can stop you from being the best version of yourself except you. Nor can anyone do it for you. We falsely believe that without this sense of support, acceptance, validation, and approval, we won’t get anywhere. This is wrong.

This belief needs to be broken to become the best that we are capable of being. If not, we remain chained by our ego's need for support and protection. Our insecurities manifest into a reflection of the approval we seek as well as the judgment we avoid.

You must believe that you are worthy and that you are capable of. You have what it takes to reach the levels that you dream of and desire. Start working on yourself today. There is no better time than right now.

Forget the excuses. They are invalid and weak. They hold no merit.

As Jocko Willink, United States Navy Seal and lead Commander, Task Unit Bruiser says: How do you stop making excuses? This is pretty simple. You have to accept that all your excuses are lies. You don’t have time. That’s a lie. You don’t have support. That's a lie. You’re too old or too young. Of course, you’re too young or too old. Lie. Or you’re too busy. Sure you are. That’s a lie. Lies, lies, lies, lies. Recognize, the excuses are not valid. They are trumped up, they are fabricated. How do you stop the lies? You stop the lies with the truth. The truth will set you free." 

It takes courage to stand up in front of the world. It also commands respect.

Be a changemaker.

Leave your mark and make the world a better place. Start now.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

Other articles and posts you may find of interest:

Nobody Cares Who You Were

Overwhelmed? The Solution Is Here And Now

The Critical Imperative

Liberate Yourself - Forgive

Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Do Not Isolate Yourself

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