Stop Saying This. You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About.

Organizational leaders need support. All of us do, of course, but leaders who depend on philanthropic support seem especially vulnerable to the temptation to minimize the sacrifices that giving requires.?

Perhaps it is not surprising, then, that four foolish words seem to live at the tips of our tongues.

“Every little bit helps,” we quickly explain.?

As lightly as a babbling brook meanders over the cobble that separates a lovely forest from the water’s edge, a phrase like “every little bit helps,” peacefully tumbles into coffee-shop conversations and subtly erodes the cause it is meant to protect.

Intended to assure a friend or colleague that their contribution to our organization will be both easy and meaningful, too often the “every little bit helps” phrase creates the opposite effect.??

Obviously, every gift is a contribution. Every gift matters. But if our causes are significant, if we are working to transform something as complex as a neighborhood, town, or system, then we need passion and intellect and effort. We need sincere donor engagement.?We need generosity.

So, as a factual matter, if we are working to make change, then we need supporters to really care. Their “little bits” are probably insufficient. But at a deeper level, the fundamental reason we need to stop saying that every little bit helps is because we receivers are ignorant about the size of our givers’ gifts.?

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, generosity resides solely with the giver.?

Nothing destroys a generous impulse more quickly than hearing the recipient describe it as one of the “little bits” that can add up to something big. Recipients simply do not know to what extent any gift requires a sacrifice. We do not know what may stand between the desire to give and the actual gift. Are there doubts? Does the donor have to weigh pros and cons? Will the donor have to make a social or economic trade-off? Is the simple task that is being requested, actually quite difficult for the giver to accomplish?

Conversely, describing a gift as generous, when the donor sees it as modest, screams ignorance or, worse, the flattery of someone already planning another request.

We who are in the asking business need to stay out of the business of telling our donors things we know nothing about. Until we know the donor like a sister or brother, we need to let the donor lead the way where characterizing their giving is concerned.

Our job is to gratefully speak about the beauty of our courageous missions and the inspiring impacts we are creating with the help of our donors. Just as important, our job is to listen carefully to our donors. When we are doing these two things—sharing our work and listening to our donors—common ground will reveal itself. Common ground, that solid footing beneath a worthy cause and her loyal supporters, is not easily undercut by a careless phrase.??

Ultimately, when we are standing side-by-side with our donors on solid ground, no one will be worried about the foolish babbling brook at the edge of the picture. We will be reaping the big rewards of strong partnerships, and the little bits will be taking care of themselves.