Stop Resenting Your Clients, Start Setting Boundaries!

Have you ever worked with a client who turned into a bit of a nightmare??

They were nice enough and paid you well, but goodness, they didn’t half mess you about.?

Arriving late for your appointments, messaging you every day asking for some sneaky free advice, or canceling on you last minute??

I’m sure that we’ve all been there!?

Do you know what the problem was??

No, it wasn’t that your client was rude (well, maybe they were a little bit), but YOU were the problem.?

You didn’t establish any boundaries, so they took advantage of you.

This week I want to talk to you about how to establish better boundaries so that you can enjoy long-lasting, stress-free relationships.

First, though, I’m going to tell you about my own nightmare client who I let walk all over me.

I combined my personal styling services with nutritional advice when I first started my business. I lived in Singapore and rented a studio in the heart of the business district. We’re going back before I had my kids and before online consultations were a thing.

A new client approached me, and I was delighted to work with her because she held a senior position in one of the commercial banks. She earned a lot of money and was very successful in her career. She was a nice lady and bought many of my services, including repeat visits for my support with nutrition.?

She was very focused on her appearance, and it was vital for her to maintain a specific weight. She’d got everything together in her work life and career but really struggled with emotional eating.

The client always requested appointments outside of my 9 to 5 working hours which meant I had to stay late at the studio. Our sessions were supposed to start at 6 pm for 45 minutes, but she was nearly always late, and I was often still trying to get rid of her at 7.30 pm.

Over time, it became clear that this lady didn’t respect me, or my time and our relationship suffered because I’d often be angry and resentful by the time she arrived for our sessions, and so I wasn’t able to give her my absolute best. Despite this, I was reluctant to confront her about the lateness because she was a high-paying client who kept booking me, and I didn’t want to risk losing her.

Once I had my first baby, I told her I didn’t want to make evening appointments anymore, so she decided to see me during her lunch breaks. Unfortunately, that didn’t work either because she was still always late. Moving the time of our appointments made no difference.???Eventually, I had no choice but to tell her I couldn’t help her anymore, and I was so anxious that she would bad mouth me. Fortunately, she didn’t, but the worry caused me many sleepless nights.

If I could go back in time, I’d probably not work with this lady at all because I would tell her straight away that I didn’t offer evening appointments. If she wanted to go ahead during the day but turned up late more than once, I’d tell her that I would only wait until 10 minutes after the planned start time of the next session and then close up the studio and go home. I’d have set and enforced these boundaries from the very beginning.

Do you set clear boundaries with your clients? If you’re starting to feel angry and resentful towards one or two of them, it’s a clear indication that you haven’t given them strong enough boundaries, and they’re taking advantage of you. It’s probably making you angry at yourself, too, for letting it happen.

Don’t worry. Read on for my advice on putting clear boundaries in place today.

Five ways to build and preserve better boundaries with your clients

Certain personality types struggle to set boundaries. I’m looking at you Nurturers and Connectors! I feel your pain as I have many Connector traits of my own. For me, setting boundaries was HARD. I thought that I had to be as accommodating as possible to keep relationships with clients going, but if only I’d known then what I know now.

Setting solid boundaries from the beginning of each new relationship would’ve ensured enduring positive relationships with all of them. I would be happy because they treated me with respect, and they would be pleased because I was giving them my absolute best attention. Everyone’s a winner!

So how can you lay the foundations for long-lasting happy relationships with your clients?

1) Set your boundaries early

Decide what your boundaries are before you get another client on board. Formalise them by including them in your terms and conditions, publishing them on your website, and including them in appointment details once you receive a booking. You can also bring some of them up on the discovery call when you’re getting to know each other, for instance, if you don’t work evenings or weekends. That way, your clients will understand the position before finalising their booking.

2) Be clear and consistent

You have to keep re-enforcing your boundaries; otherwise, people pay no attention. Going back to my lady in Singapore, I spoke to her a couple of times about her lateness, telling her that it couldn’t continue, but the next time she did it, I let her get away with it!?

3)?Create a framework

Look at your working week and identify where you need to set some boundaries. They could be around time, for instance. When are you going to take time off? We all need downtime to get away from work for a while. The same goes for your personal life too. Do you need a couple of hours at the weekend so you can do your own thing for a while? Get your husband to take the kids so you can take care of yourself. If you don’t look after yourself, you’ll have nothing in the tank to give to anyone else.

4) Feel free to add extras

You can build in additional boundaries whenever you need to. It’s your business, after all! If a particular client starts taking the proverbial by messaging you all the time expecting free advice, tell them they can’t! Stop it straightway by introducing a new boundary.

5) Beware of social media

Using social media in business can be challenging. It’s available 24/7, and boundaries can get blurry with people dropping into your DMs asking for things any time of day or night. You must be careful and preserve your energy by not getting sucked into providing free advice that takes up all your time.

Boundaries protect you, your health, and your mental wellbeing. You’re not going to have the balanced life you want if you let everyone take advantage of you. Without them, you’ll soon get fed up, exhausted or even burnt out and have to close up shop.

Please, set your boundaries now.