Stop Repeating Yourself

By Lindy Earl

         After a certain point in the business world, no matter what part of business, from natural sciences to soft sciences, from education to engineering, we all learn the importance of communication. We all communicate from the moment we are born (have you ever heard a new born scream? They are uncomfortable in this bright, cold world and will let you know it), so it should come easily, right?

         As we grow we learn acceptable and successful forms of communication. They are not always the same thing, and therein lies the challenge. The two year old who throws a tantrum has learned how to manipulate his parents if his tantrum is successful. He may later learn that his triumph was short lived.

         We learn that manners count so include more of them as we grow if we want to thrive. It is amazing what a simple “please” means when making a request. Strangers certainly respond better to mannerly people, so it stands to reason that those with whom we work and live will appreciate the same respect.

         One mistake in communicating, of which I am guilty, and I have seen it in others, is the bad habit of repeating myself. Shouldn’t it stand to reason, especially in the business world, that a person should only have to make a request a single time? Alas, it does not seem to be true. Why?

         I have noticed there are several reasons that a manager repeats themselves. First, a failure to assign responsibility. When there is a spill in the break room, it is nobody’s job to clean it up, so that’s often who does it: nobody. You’ve seen the same thing in a spill on aisle 6 in the grocery store. 

         An announcement is heard that there is a spill, and there it stays. Savvy employees hear the announcement as a warning to avoid aisle 6 so they can claim ignorance. If the announcement came across, “Joe, clean up the spill in aisle 6,” then everyone, including Joe, would know who was responsible. Appropriate follow up would be necessary, but that’s a trail we can follow. Was the job performed in an efficient and acceptable manner? Yes? Kudos to Joe. No? We know with whom to speak. The point: there is no need for repetitive messages.

         If you think about it, repeating messages can be anything from irritating to amusing. At first people might respond with a shrug of their shoulders, blowing it off. As the message is repeated (you might want to think about a commercial you have seen too many times), it can be interruptive and annoying. Finally, as it is clear that the message is being ignored, there may be some humor – at the cost of the person in charge. That’s not a good thing.

         I have found another reason messages have to be repeated is that they may be missing crucial information. Let’s return to our childhood so I know everyone can relate here. Your parent intoned, “Clean you room.” You heard it. They know you heard it. So why was it ever repeated? Because the message conveyed, that your room needs to be cleaned, was not the message in its entirety. In fact, what was intended was, “Clean your room to my standards immediately.” What was heard was, “When you’re not otherwise engaged and don’t mind taking a few minutes, stuff your dirty laundry under the bed and pull up the covers so we can’t see you were eating chips in bed last night.” Hmmm. Communication breakdown.

         Yet another reason people find themselves repeating themselves is that they have taught their people (employees, customers, vendors, even children) that they are willing to repeat themselves. When people are not paying attention, thus have to ask to have information repeated, of course we acquiesce. It’s the polite, logical, and best thing to do. It can, however, result in people not paying attention, knowing that the communicator will continue to repeat the information until it is either heard or the communicator feels the need to shout. I do not want to have to raise my voice in order to get people to listen to me. 

         It’s not always verbal communication. If you have people who ask you to resend a memo or report because their copy has gone missing, you are repeating yourself. There are better uses for your time than repeating actions because others are unorganized. It’s rather disrespectful for others to expect you to bail them out due to their disorganization or, simply, incompetence.

         How to fix this? Refuse to repeat yourself. When somebody asks, simply explain that you’ve shared the data and it is their responsibility to find the information. Now they are scrambling, as they should be. We have all heard the line, “Your failure to plan does not constitute an emergency on my part.” 

         I know how hard it is to let others fail, but in the long run, this tough love helps everyone. It creates an atmosphere of responsibility which can lead to great respect as people step up. It saves time and energy as information and messages are not repeated. It also provides us a great sense of peace as we do not get emotionally charged when we are requested to provide the same information for the nth time.

         Make a decision to know what to say, and the best way to say it, before speaking. Then get the attention of your audience and deliver your message. Do not repeat it. If there is a challenge, it belongs to them, not you. I am not saying you can never be kind again and help a friend, but do not let it become a pattern. Simply stop repetitively and redundantly repeating yourself.

Lindy is a Business Consultant and Speaker to individuals of all levels and for companies, churches, and organizations of all sizes. In addition, she is an author and columnist. Contact her at [email protected] to speak to your corporation or organization.