Stop Praising People

Have you noticed how easy it is to be detailed and specific with all the things you don't like? The server at a restaurant did not smile, was not available, was not accommodating on substitutions ...the list goes one. There is no shortage of detail on exactly what is wrong and how you would have liked it to be better.

But when someone does a great job, how do we usually praise them - if at all? We usually say something like "Great job" or "Nicely done". Notice the difference? It is natural to focus on negatives.   However, I know that the reaction you get when you provide the same level of specificity in positive feedback is significantly better. It also reinforces the positive behavior that you provide evidence of.

Evidence of Success

What could the specific evidence of success look like in the earlier restaurant example if we had a good server? At the end of the meal, you could say: "Thank you for providing excellent service today. You were very attentive to our requests and always available when we needed you. Your recommendation to get the scallops when we could not decide between the salmon and the scallops was great. Your service helped make this a great meal. We look forward to coming back."

Can you imagine the smile on that server's face?

One reason most of us don't provide evidence of success and stick with general praise like "great job" is that it is less effort. But isn't the point of providing feedback to reinforce the good behavior and let our team know that we notice and appreciate their good work?

So, next time one of your employees, your kids or your spouse does something well, don't just provide praise and say "Good job". Make the effort and take the time to provide evidence of their success. It will be appreciated.