Stop Playing Small
Kinship #33

Stop Playing Small

Stop Playing Small

When you are absolutely determined to get the job done right, but spend a great deal of your time feeling the most undervalued.

Smiling or shrugging off emotionally taxing experiences is probably your default!

The compounded effects of being different to whatever the norm, impacts our daily experiences and can be extremely lonely and isolating.

‘I always wanted to avoid tension
which kept me playing small for
many years in my career’

Diverse women are probably the ones struggling with this the most in your organisation.

That feeling of not quite fitting in or belonging, was one of my biggest motivators starting Benevolent Health.

I wanted to help other diverse women not to sacrifice their mental health when facing these emotionally taxing experiences.

More importantly, I wanted women to realise their self-worth, TO STOP playing small OR holding back and know they REALLY matter.

To become unstoppable and go after the careers, relationships or life they really wanted.


Experience of Otherness

‘Otherness’ is often connected to race or gender and has many women playing small because they feel less than or are undervalued.

But ‘otherness’ also looks like physical ability, age, religious beliefs, language, even sexuality also make people feel less than in the workplace.

I recently travelled to Istanbul for a short break and I had an experience of ‘otherness’ which unfortunately was quite familiar!

That overwhelming feeling of vulnerability from not being acknowledged shocked and silenced me.

My pride and ego wanted to be loud and aggressive, but I was in close proximity to others and I didn't want to seem like I was overreacting.

But, the man next to me spoke up ‘She was in the queue first and you should serve her before me’. Reluctantly, she acknowledged me and took my order.

He will never realise how grateful I felt in that moment, because I was so busy in my head trying to work out, why wasn't I saying anything!

The reason I share this is because racism is not always a big incidence, or even obvious it has happened. I think part of why I said nothing is because I questioned 'Am I imagining this?'

But, these small subtle slights or interactions, tiny moments add up.

Maybe, the guy that stepped in for me had experienced ‘otherness’ and recognised it, or maybe he hadn’t.

I will never know? But, he noticed it and he was not complicit or silent.

To all those speaking up for the horrendous injustices or the daily cumulative little paper cuts or microaggressions . I appreciate you! Thank you ???

Let’s stop playing small this year and let's keep amplifying our voices.

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Kinship Summit for Diverse Women

During mental health awareness we will host?The Kinship Summit?to tackle loneliness for diverse women in corporate.?Alongside Race & Mental Health Experts.

A series of daily discussions including: A Keynote, Panel Discussion & Safe Spaces Conversations, Plus BONUS workshop.

Register here for the full timetable and links to access all the discussions.



Yasmin Kosar

Software Engineer | Technologist | Systems Thinker | Creator | Mentor

2 年

"I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.” Maya Angelou.

Dr Gifford Rhamie (PhD, FAETC)

Public Speaker | Executive Leadership Consultant (DEIB) and Intersectional Educator | Making Inclusion and belonging a lived reality | Pianist/musician | Board Member

2 年

On point!

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