Stop Picturing Your Audience Naked

(Before we begin...THE PERFECT STORY is now available in English in all formats outside the US. For those of you having trouble getting copies outside of the US, you should have received your preorders by now.

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“If you are nervous to speak in front of a group, the best thing you can do is picture your audience naked. Focus on them and not your nerves.”

That is terrible advice. And not just because of the questionable tattoo the guy in the second row got on a dare at 19. Focusing on the audience shifts your energy outside yourself. To speak well, you need to be internally focused and grounded on what you want to share.

“But Karen, you always say stories always start with audiences.”

They do! That is the purpose of the preparation phase - defining the outcomes for the audience. Envisioning your audience so you can incorporate familiar details and relatable messages. Planning gestures, facial expressions, and moments of pause to draw the audience into your story. When it’s time to tell your story, shift the focus internally to what you’re doing to put all that together. Not outwardly like the public speaking myths lead you to believe.

Myth: You can’t give a great presentation or tell a compelling story when you are nervous.

Public speaking is nerve-wracking. Some estimate that 75% of the population experiences some discomfort - ranging from feeling squirmy to toe-curling to shallow breathing. Focusing on something other than the uneasiness seems like the easiest way to avoid experiencing it.

When watching someone who speaks with ease, it’s easy to think they have some talent that you don’t. But you don’t know what they are experiencing internally. Most of the professional speakers I know feel some form of anticipation and nerves. The only difference is that they accept it as part of the process and work through it. Being nervous doesn’t mean you can’t give a great talk.

Myth: If I focus on others, my nerves will go away.?

We want a quick solution to get rid of the unpleasant feeling. But you can’t think your way out of discomfort. Motivation comes from doing, not from thinking. Focusing on the audience spins up all types of thoughts that don’t help you be any more productive.

Myth: I’m an introvert – I won’t be a good public speaker.

Public speaking can feel extra draining to an introvert. They grapple with how to best share something meaningful while lifting the audience’s energy. However, introverts can shine with preparation as they are often finely attuned to the needs of the audience.

Myth: I can focus on my message without planning how I will share it.

Many people spend hours planning their slides and neglect to think about what they will say.? Memorable communications are a blend of message and delivery. A great story delivered in a monotone voice and expressionless face is just as bad a no story at all (Bueller…. Bueller…) Audiences feel how flat it is and drift off.

You may always experience nerves. But you can also develop a strategy for working with them and moving energy around. Keep your audience dressed and try these things instead.

1. Your audience doesn’t care if you are nervous.

This is the secret no one tells you. Sometimes audiences experience more empathy when they sense you’re nervous. I’ve been at multiple TED conferences where the speaker loses their place, blanks, fumbles their words. or has a coughing fit. They paused, regrouped, and began again. The audience always offered encouragement and applause. None of those moments took away from their message. We respond to human moments, especially when we see someone trying.

What audiences do care about is if you’ve prepared and have a message to share. They subconsciously decide within the first twenty seconds if they will grant you attention. Fail to prepare your message or plan how you’ll deliver it, and their attention is revoked.

2. Plan a gesture in your opening sentence

Don’t begin with “Thank you…”? “My name is….”? “I’m here today to talk about…” Those are filler words that dare the audience’s brain to wander. Start with your story. Don’t diminish it by saying, “I don’t know if this is any good.” Begin and your audience will follow. Don’t set the context for the story before telling it – reveal that in the story. Spark intrigue and make them lean forward to see what comes next.

Know your opening sentence, closing sentence, and any transitions. These allow you to start and end strong. It also helps you to prepare some movement. Plan a few gestures for your first few sentences. These will help move your nervous energy around and create more inflection in your voice. Plus, they help carry you until you settle in a few sentences later.

3. Take a deep breath.

The more nerves and anticipation we experience, the harder it can be to take a full breath of air. Speaking on partial breaths makes your voice sound weak and less certain. Focus on taking deep breaths in the minutes before you speak. Take a full inhale before starting your first sentence and start at a confident volume.

4. Plan for things to go wrong.

We blank, flub words, and even have coughing fits. But they don’t have to derail your presentation. Don’t be caught off guard when these things happen. As I’ve previously shared, plan for them.

5. Visualize yourself speaking confidently.

Spend the last minutes before speaking by focusing internally. Trust you’ve prepared the right message for the audience. Notice what you are feeling throughout your body. Shake your hands, take deep breaths, and walk around.

Picture yourself walking in front of the group and delivering your first line perfectly. Visualize your gestures and feel where you will pause. Review your starting sentence, your closing sentence, and your transitions.

You may never speak without experiencing nerves. But don’t focus that energy on your audience. Embrace it, channel it inward, and let it propel you to captivate your audience.

Book Tour

I'm giving an author talk in the greater Atlanta area on Saturday, February 3. The talk is free and you can purchase copies of the book and/or get them signed. Visit here for more details and registration.

When I was writing The Perfect Story, I'd go into different bookstores and visualize where it would sit on the shelf. One of those was The Drama Book Shop in NYC.?It's owned by Lin Manuel Miranda, Tommy Kail, Jeffrey Seller, and James Nederlander (pause for the musical theater kids to squeal). They recently ordered my book - and this is it on display in the bookstore.

I'm delighted to share that they will be hosting an author event and signing for me and The Perfect Story on Tuesday, June 4, 2024 at 7:30pm. Space is limited - more details and registration information to come!

Media

My segment on Great Day Washington recently aired. We talked about storytelling and how to use it in moments like giving a toast.

I recently joined Alex Pascal, the CEO of Coaching.com on their podcast to talk about The Perfect Story.?This is a great episode for coaches and entrepreneurs.

Joy and I had a fun conversation on her "Reframe to Create" podcast. We talked about the different stories you can tell, how to avoid manipulation, and when to tell a story and when not to.

During the Pandemic, Noi Ha Nguyen and his wife started interviewing experts globally to share stories to inspire, connect and relate with others. They've interviewed over 650 experts from 60 countries - and I recently joined him to talk about storytelling.?

Get Started With?Storytelling?

• Order?THE PERFECT STORY.
• Take?our free assessment?to determine your storytelling approach.
• Check out the?Jumpstart Your Storytelling?course.
• Listen to any of my guest appearances on podcasts through my?Spotify Playlist?