Stop People-Pleasing: Open Your Mouth and Claim Your Space

Throughout my career, I've seen countless examples of women going above and beyond—not just in their work, but in ways that often go unnoticed. Whether it’s cleaning up after a meeting, organizing the office kitchen, or always being the one to step in and help out, many women fall into the trap of people-pleasing.?

But here’s the hard truth: If the leaders aren’t setting the example, why should you? It’s time to stop people-pleasing and start focusing on what really matters—your growth, your goals, and your career. Lesson 30 in the FemFuel Journey of 52 weeks growing as an entrepreneur.?

The Trap of People-Pleasing

People-pleasing often starts innocently enough. You step in to help because you want to be seen as a team player, or you pick up the slack because you feel it’s expected of you. But over time, these small acts can become a pattern—one that not only takes you away from your more important tasks but also reinforces the idea that your time is less valuable than others'.

I’ve seen it happen so many times. After a meeting, it’s often the women who start cleaning up the tables or rearranging the chairs while their male counterparts head straight to the next important task. It’s almost as if there’s an unspoken expectation that women should handle these small, often invisible tasks, even if it means sacrificing their own work.

But let me ask you this: How often do you see the top leaders cleaning up after a meeting? Rarely, if ever. And there’s a reason for that—leaders focus on leading. They prioritize tasks that move the needle on their goals and the organization’s objectives. So why shouldn’t you?

Recognizing Your Value

People-pleasing is often rooted in a desire for approval and validation. You want to be liked, to be seen as helpful, and to avoid conflict. But the cost of people-pleasing is high. It can lead to burnout, resentment, and a lack of recognition for the real value you bring to the table.

It’s important to recognize that your worth isn’t tied to how much you do for others, especially when those tasks don’t align with your goals. Your time and energy are valuable resources, and how you choose to spend them should reflect your priorities, not just the expectations of others.

The Power of Saying No

One of the most empowering things you can do is learn to say no. This doesn’t mean being uncooperative or disengaged, but rather being selective about where you invest your time and energy. When you stop automatically agreeing to every request, you create space for the work that truly matters to you.

Saying no can be difficult, especially if you’re used to being the go-to person for extra help. But it’s a skill that will serve you well in the long run. By setting boundaries, you not only protect your time but also signal to others that your work is important and that you value your contributions.

Speak Up and Claim Your Space

The flip side of saying no is speaking up. If you find yourself consistently taking on tasks that don’t align with your role or goals, it’s time to have a conversation with your colleagues or superiors. Express your desire to focus on higher-impact work and suggest ways that these smaller tasks can be redistributed.

This isn’t about shirking responsibility—it’s about making sure that your time is spent where it’s most valuable. It’s about ensuring that you’re recognized for your contributions and that you’re not being sidelined into tasks that don’t advance your career.

Lead by Example

If you’re in a leadership position, it’s crucial to set the right example. Leaders who value their team’s time and talents don’t expect them to take on menial tasks that don’t align with their roles. Instead, they empower their team members to focus on work that drives results and contributes to their professional growth.

As a leader, you can create a culture where people are encouraged to speak up, set boundaries, and focus on their strengths. When you model this behavior, it sets the tone for the entire team and helps prevent the cycle of people-pleasing from taking hold.

Focus on What Matters

At the end of the day, your career is your responsibility. You’re the one who has to ensure that your time is spent on tasks that matter, that your voice is heard, and that your contributions are valued. People-pleasing might feel good in the moment, but it won’t get you where you want to go.

Stop people-pleasing, open your mouth, and claim your space. You have more important work to do—work that deserves your full attention and effort. It’s time to focus on your goals, your growth, and your career. And trust me, the more you do this, the more others will respect you for it.

Embrace Your Priorities

It’s time to shift the narrative. Being helpful is great, but not at the expense of your own priorities. Embrace your strengths, focus on what truly matters, and don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself. When you stop people-pleasing and start prioritizing your own work, you not only set yourself up for success but also inspire others to do the same.

Remember, your time and energy are valuable. Use them wisely, and don’t let people-pleasing hold you back from achieving your full potential. It’s time to step into your power, open your mouth, and claim your place at the table—because you deserve it.

What’s your experience with this? Let’s discuss. Drop it here below!