Stop Making Yourself Smaller - You'll Disappear!

Greetings, Colleagues. 

I am a Black woman, so I basically have lived a diversity two-for-one. I am a recovered banker and now have a small business helping organizations develop leadership programs; understand the needs of employees and consumers; and implement diversity, equity and inclusion practices into their culture. I spent many of the early years of my life in denial that racism was the scourge that it is - believing that we can all "pick ourselves up by our bootstraps." I believed that because I was blessed to grow up in a fairly middle-class family. And my mom (who has 17 brothers and sisters - no twins!) came from a family where my grandfather was a sharecropper (who finished the 3rd grade) and my grandmother who was brilliant only finished the 8th grade. They taught their children to believe in faith, family and the great equalizer - education. And because of those lessons (and quite a few whippings) they raised 17 college graduates and 11 attorneys, many of them trained in Ivy League Colleges. My mom also became an attorney and worked for the Federal Government until early this year. 

I share all of that to say that until I watched George Floyd die, I have myself made excuses for the systemic racism that has existed since 1619 - and even though I DO DIVERSITY WORK, I still have to re-learn, re-think and re-evaluate my own beliefs and behaviors. I am sharing this because instead of focusing on how others have treated me with bias - and many have - I would prefer to continue to educate myself so that I can help others be more educated, more sensitive and more actively anti-racist. 

I will share a story about something that happened recently where I did not make myself smaller, as I have done so many times in my life. I spoke up for myself, and was able to really create lasting and positive change because of it. About three weeks ago, I was working with a client on a large public project for our community. All of us were struggling about what to do and say about the death of George Floyd, and we had to put the project on hold to be thoughtful about how we approached the issue. Note: I was hired as the DEI expert on this project. So, I received an email stating that my white colleague was going to facilitate a discussion about the George Floyd tragedy and what we would do about it. 

To say I was angry and hurt would be an understatement. I was horrified. And pissed! But that's just the beginning. The white woman (who happens to be a colleague I like a lot) called me to ask me how to conduct the discussion!! Needless to say, I called the powers that be and shared my feelings about the issue. I had a very difficult conversation with my white colleague and explained to her how racist it was for her to even accept the role of facilitating a conversation about race. She cried and understood. It was cathartic for both of us. The powers that be obviously changed their tune and I ended up facilitating one of the most powerful 90-minute discussions of my career. 

I am proud of myself for speaking up - finally. And I will try to never allow the perception of "angry Black woman" to silence my voice or make me so small that I disappear.

Thank you for listening. 

Warmly, Dr. Rachel