Stop Lying About How Good Things Are

I interact with attorneys on a daily basis. It would be weird if I didn't. I see them in Bankruptcy Court and at Real Estate closings. I meet them for dinner and (many) drinks. When I see my colleagues in social settings, I've no desire to discuss the practice of law. I'd much rather learn about who they are. The person, not the "lawyer." Where is he/she from? What do they like doing besides practicing law? Do they like scotch? What kind of scotch? Would they like some more scotch? These conversations- the ones I enjoy-occur with less frequency now. Why? Because often, one well meaning individual will lob the "So, how is business?" grenade right onto the table. Game over. That ubiquitous, cliche, cringe inducing grenade then explodes and changes the tenor of the conversation; taking with it any chance at meaningful dialogue between us. What follows is a litany of proclamations surrounding how fantastic business is, and how referrals are flowing from everywhere. Finally, a socially required "what about you?" bazooka is fired, which requires one to artificially exaggerate how well they are doing, and so it continues ad nauseum until the check comes (and if business is "awesome", why am I picking up the check, NAME REDACTED??) and you comment that you should really do this again soon.

This is madness. We cannot all be doing well. Yes, there are plenty of successful lawyers out there, but not all of us, which is absolutely fine. When did it become social suicide to suggest last year was a down year for you? And I'm just as guilty of this as the next guy. So, I'm going to stop. The next time someone asks me "How's business?", I'm going to be completely honest and say:

1. "We're doing great, revenues are up, but our expenses are crazy, so it's stopping us from growing as quickly as we'd like. We need to fix this."

2. "We're doing a ton of Real Estate closings, but clients won't pay more than $2500 and we really think we're worth $4000."

3. "We love Bankruptcy, but the practice is essentially dead because no one is filing, and thank the Lord that we have Real Estate and Small Business to fall back on."

Why? Because that's what's really happening in my practice (and maybe at yours) and I've no reason to be embarrassed about it. More importantly, it's because I'm sick of canned conversation with others and I truly want to dig deeper. If I'm honest with others, maybe they'll let their guard down, which leads to getting to know that other person and not what they think I should perceive them as. Otherwise, what's the point?

David Carr, a New York Times reporter, died yesterday. He was once a crack addict who rose above addiction and wrote a book about it. He states:

“I now inhabit a life I don't deserve, but we all walk this earth feeling we are frauds. The trick is to be grateful and hope the caper doesn't end any time soon”

Many times I absolutely feel like I am a fraud. I started a law practice at the age of 24 knowing nothing. I am similarly grateful and hopeful my caper doesn't end any time soon. I hope I meet some others who feel the same. We can drink some scotch and talk about it.