Stop letting dysfunctional behavior from derailing your virtual meetings

Ever been in a virtual meeting when someone completely dominates the conversation, refusing to pause long enough for anyone else to say a word? Or when someone steers the conversation down an achingly long path that’s completely off-topic? Or when a person is so distracted that they keep asking to repeat the question? And then there are those who simply refuse to engage in any sort of conversation.

These dysfunctional behaviors are hard enough to deal with when you’re sitting in the same room, but when your conversations are virtual, it’s tricky and awkward for meeting leaders to intervene in a way that’s respectful and assertive.

Next time you encounter some of my "favorite" challenging meeting participants, try some of these responses, modifying to make them fit your style and the situation at hand.

The persistent multitasker(s): ??

• “Jim, your perspectives and experiences are vital. The last few times we asked for your opinion, we had to repeat the question. I’m afraid that we’ll all lose out if we can’t hear your perspectives. If we can have your undivided attention for the next 10 minutes, we can probably end the meeting a few minutes early. Is that okay?
• “This meeting is taking longer than it needs to because we’ve had to repeat ourselves frequently to get peoples’ attention. I know we don’t want to schedule another meeting. How about if we give everyone a moment of silent time to finish what they’re working on, and then fully focus on our conversation?”

The participant with no off-switch ??

• “One norm we agreed to earlier was to balance participation, making sure that all voices are heard. There are many perspectives we haven’t heard from. Let’s pause a moment to ask what we can do to better balance participation. Anyone want to start?”
• “Jennifer, I am sorry to interrupt, but there still many people who haven't had a chance to speak. You’ve given us a lot of great ideas. Who wants to build on Jennifer’s ideas, or who might have a different viewpoint to share?”
• “Pat, I appreciate your passion for this topic. Can we talk after this meeting about some other ways you can share your experiences with us, perhaps in a future meeting? What thoughts came up for the rest of you as Pat was speaking?”

To people who have disengaged (or who have never engaged in the first place) ??

• “Dave, I remember you relayed your experience about a similar situation last time we spoke. Can you share some lessons learned that we can all use?”
• “I notice that a few of you have said very little since we began, and I’m not sure why. I’d like to know what we can do to make this meeting more engaging or relevant for each of you. Can everyone type a few words in chat, and then hit your Enter key on the count of 3? 1,2,3….”
• “Let’s pause for a moment and to go around the virtual room to ask everyone to fill in the blank with just one or two words: If I could change just one thing about XXXX, it would be _________.”

No matter how thoughtfully you design your virtual meetings, something (or someone) is bound to take it off track. Be ready with interventions that can work well in a variety of situations. One of the best ways to stop dysfunctional behavior from derailing your virtual meeting: Agree on a?set of meeting norms?up front and discuss specific behaviors that will support your collective ability to achieve shared goals.

? ? What norms have helped you keep dysfunctional behavior in check during your virtual meetings ? ?