Stop letting dysfunctional behavior from derailing your virtual meetings
Matthew Schwartz, Unsplash

Stop letting dysfunctional behavior from derailing your virtual meetings

Ever been in a virtual meeting when someone completely dominates the conversation, refusing to pause long enough for anyone else to say a word? Or when someone steers the conversation down an achingly long path that’s completely off-topic? Or when a person is so distracted that they keep asking to repeat the question? And then there are those who simply refuse to engage in any sort of conversation.

These dysfunctional behaviors are hard enough to deal with when you’re sitting in the same room, but when your conversations are virtual, it’s tricky and awkward for meeting leaders to intervene in a way that’s respectful and assertive.

Next time you encounter some of my "favorite" challenging meeting participants, try some of these responses, modifying to make them fit your style and the situation at hand.

The persistent multitasker(s): ??

  • “Jim, your perspectives and experiences are vital. The last few times we asked for your opinion, we had to repeat the question. I’m afraid that we’ll all lose out if we can’t hear your perspectives. If we can have your undivided attention for the next 10 minutes, we can probably end the meeting a few minutes early. Is that okay?
  • “This meeting is taking longer than it needs to because we’ve had to repeat ourselves frequently to get peoples’ attention. I know we don’t want to schedule another meeting. How about if we give everyone a moment of silent time to finish what they’re working on, and then fully focus on our conversation?”

The participant with no off-switch ??

  • “One norm we agreed to earlier was to balance participation, making sure that all voices are heard. There are many perspectives we haven’t heard from. Let’s pause a moment to ask what we can do to better balance participation. Anyone want to start?”
  • “Jennifer, I am sorry to interrupt, but there still many people who haven't had a chance to speak. You’ve given us a lot of great ideas. Who wants to build on Jennifer’s ideas, or who might have a different viewpoint to share?”
  • “Pat, I appreciate your passion for this topic. Can we talk after this meeting about some other ways you can share your experiences with us, perhaps in a future meeting? What thoughts came up for the rest of you as Pat was speaking?”

To people who have disengaged (or who have never engaged in the first place) ??

  • “Dave, I remember you relayed your experience about a similar situation last time we spoke. Can you share some lessons learned that we can all use?”
  • “I notice that a few of you have said very little since we began, and I’m not sure why. I’d like to know what we can do to make this meeting more engaging or relevant for each of you. Can everyone type a few words in chat, and then hit your Enter key on the count of 3? 1,2,3….”
  • “Let’s pause for a moment and to go around the virtual room to ask everyone to fill in the blank with just one or two words: If I could change just one thing about XXXX, it would be _________.”

No matter how thoughtfully you design your virtual meetings, something (or someone) is bound to take it off track. Be ready with interventions that can work well in a variety of situations. One of the best ways to stop dysfunctional behavior from derailing your virtual meeting: Agree on a?set of meeting norms?up front and discuss specific behaviors that will support your collective ability to achieve shared goals.

? ? What norms have helped you keep dysfunctional behavior in check during your virtual meetings ? ?


Rebecca Cugini

Empowers the business to implement strategic change initiatives and drives adoption by leading cross functional program teams

3 å¹´

Poll questions are a great structure to pull engagement. In MS Teams you are limited to multiple choice if you want to aggregate answers in Forms (chat), but, it's a good way to engage a larger group. If you can plan ahead, I highly recommend Poll Everywhere, which has some great alternative ways of participating including free text and ranking.

Vandy Densmore (she/her)

Human Resources Executive | Culture & Engagement | Mergers & Acquisitions | Diversity & Inclusion | Learning & Development | Talent & Organizational Development

3 å¹´

Great ideas, Nancy Settle-Murphy! Thanks for sharing!

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Nancy Settle-Murphy的更多文章

  • Tips for opening the doors to sensitive conversations, safely

    Tips for opening the doors to sensitive conversations, safely

    The ability to have sensitive conversations about potentially divisive topics, safely, has never been more important…

  • You call that a team?

    You call that a team?

    Great teamwork wasn’t all that easy to come by even when everyone worked together in one place. When the pandemic hit…

  • Stop Letting Bad Behavior Derail Your Next Meeting

    Stop Letting Bad Behavior Derail Your Next Meeting

    “Our meetings have gone off the rails. No one seems to know how to rein in the loudmouths or to get the quiet people…

    2 条评论
  • (Free) Gifts that keep on giving, at work or home

    (Free) Gifts that keep on giving, at work or home

    "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.

    4 条评论
  • Why Coaches Make the Best Leaders in a Hybrid World

    Why Coaches Make the Best Leaders in a Hybrid World

    The cafeteria on the 9th floor is still mostly empty as James and Ceci plunk down their trays at a table near the…

    2 条评论
  • Ghosting Can Come Back to Haunt You – Here’s Why and How to Avoid It

    Ghosting Can Come Back to Haunt You – Here’s Why and How to Avoid It

    A client who’s raved about my work throughout a relationship spanning multiple years has unceremoniously stopped…

    1 条评论
  • Making Asymmetrical Meetings Work for Everyone

    Making Asymmetrical Meetings Work for Everyone

    By Nancy Settle-Murphy, President of Guided Insights and Louis Vareille, réuniologue (meetingologist), president of…

    1 条评论
  • Lessons from Rosie: When the Show Must Go On

    Lessons from Rosie: When the Show Must Go On

    On a beautiful mid-April evening, my daughter and I coaxed our beloved old pup Rosie into the car to bring her to her…

    14 条评论

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了