Stop Judging, Start Helping!

Unlike other professions, the superheroes in education are among the most selfless, spirited, insightful, and generous human beings I ever encounter.? Can you imagine families, especially parents, leaving their most precious and valuable gifts (their children) with a group of people (strangers in many instances) with the hope that those individuals will use the time that they have with them to make their lives exponentially better?? While I don’t intend to disparage or diminish the value of other professionals; I remain unapologetic in my assertion that K-12 educators, especially teachers and staff, are a special group of people.?

Imagine for a minute what your life from birth to adulthood would be if you did not have the benefit of your K-12 educational experience.? While many people often attribute their successes to other experiences, I posit that either memory loss or selective gratitude are reasons that more people do not directly attribute their success to an experience with a single teacher, or multiple encounters during their time in grades K-12. I? know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the superheroes who serve in our K-12 education systems will continue to exemplify an outstanding service delivery model despite it all. In spite of moments where you sometimes feel under appreciated, underpaid, or under supported, I have seen a plethora of moments where you show up in empathetic and generous ways to offer help, particularly when others in the same moment have chosen vitriol, criticism, blame, and judgment.? For this, I am grateful.?

Stop Judging; Start Helping!

The story is told of the gentleman who got on the ‘A’ Train in New York with his three children ages 4, 7, and 9.? As he sat on the seat, head slumped, and glasses pushed up on his forehead, he watched his three children as they excitedly jumped on the seats, one swung on the pole, and they jokingly egged each other on in a game of “you cannot swing better than me.” Sitting across from them were two well dressed gentlemen and a lady who immediately stared at the children and they did so appearing to be disappointed and judgmental.? The three of them engaged in a conversation loud enough for other passengers to hear.? They were trying to decide which one of them would tell the father to “get control of his unruly and obnoxious children.”? The woman in the well-dressed trio suggested that “maybe if their mother was here with them, she would hope that she at least had a better display of parenting skills than this dad.”

At this moment, one of the men in the trio stood up, straightened his suit and tie, walked over to the father of the children and angrily accosted him saying; “this is a public train and you need to be more considerate of others and take control of your unruly children.”? The children who at this moment had stopped their playing to observe this stranger confront their dad, hurried over to him and all hugged him simultaneously.? The father of the children, in an apologetic voice, responded.? “Sir, I am sorry that my children were making you feel this way.? I assure you that they are not unruly, but we just left the hospital in Manhattan where we spent the past 48 hours sitting at their mother’s bedside.? She had been battling cancer for the past seven months and she died earlier today.? They just have a lot of anxiety and energy and I wasn’t paying attention to them as they were playing. I apologize!”?

There are moments and situations where you will not have any knowledge of what someone’s day entails.? Take the time to find out.? Empathetic listening is one way to do so.?

Take time out of your day to exercise restraint when you have encounters where you feel the need to judge, and seek opportunities to help.

Please know that I will not always get it right during all of my encounters. While there are moments where I might? be judgmental, I remain committed to exercising more restraint in this area, and will seek to help first. I am? committed to demonstrating this each day, and I remain committed in my quest to always SEE, HEAR and SUPPORT you every day.

Radical Empathy Quote: “Radical empathy is one’s willingness to reserve judgment and elevate helpful actions, even in moments of challenge.”