Stop hitting yourself! Why do you keep hitting yourself?
Do you even know your fitness ROI, bro?: Part II
Ok so here we are back for the sequel! In the first part, we covered the What--this so-called “fitness ROI”--to reframe how you address your fitness efforts, and therefore trigger a desire to approach it in a more logical, cost-effective manner. By aligning our approach to a financial concept, the obstacle becomes more relatable. The purpose is not to scold any less-than-ideal results, but rather call attention to your literal and figurative costs objectively, almost-mathematically, prompting an opportunity to hit the reset button.
At this point, I hope it empowered you to achieve the following:
- Reframe the way you think of the situation
- Acknowledge your ROI is low/negative
- Inspire you to change behaviors, and therefore improve.
Forging ahead, today we're going to cover the Why. Why is my ROI low? Why have I continued doing it this way? Why do I accept it?
As noted jokingly above, I intentionally applied the childish trope, "Why do you keep hitting yourself?" which you probably recognize from the likes of The Simpsons or Tarzan to call attention in a silly way to--what I hope you can appreciate as--the unproductive behaviours and thought patterns explored below. I believe bringing them to the surface and identifying wit
h them is an important step in addressing and improving such rituals.
When envisioning the personas below, I encourage you to explicitly say, “That is so ‘me’!”
Ha! Classic 'me'. Low ROI AF!
Following this discussion, my hope is for you to recognize why you have approached your fitness as such, and it doesn’t need to continue. Afterward, I eagerly look forward to the conclusion wherein we will explore the How.
Are you your own Superhero or Supervillain?
From my experience, conversations, observations (lots of listening, watching...lurking), I’ve been able to identify five key personas. After categorizing these identities, I seemed to have accidentally created some sort of wonky superhero team, or perhaps a motley crew of characters on a quest, or maybe even a group akin to those from Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales, and as a result, titled them accordingly:
To introduce the personas:
- Ophelia “The Obligated”
- Tobias “The Tortured”
- Quinn “The Questful”
- Iris “The Irregular”
- Eve “The Enlightened”
As we explore them, I want you to ask yourself which persona(s) you relate to, keeping in mind a common theme throughout-- One grounded in confusion and self-sabotage. With a general understanding that you relate to at least one of the aforementioned categories, let's explore the rationale behind those beliefs, thought patterns and expectations in order to understand the root, and therefore curb that behavior to approach your fitness differently.
Identifying Your Low Fitness ROI Persona
1. Ophelia* “The Obligated”: It's what you think you should do
(*Please note my choice of “Ophelia” is merely coincidence, as I needed a first name beginning with the letter “O”. Completely unrelated to its namesake from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, who unfortunately, driven to insanity...ends up...drowning...herself. Wait, I think there’s actually something to learn here.)
Where were we? Oh, right!-- This category is comprised of three main premises:
A.) The status quo: This lies in the belief that you simply should have a gym/class/facility membership. "It's just what you do." Right? You go to school, get a job, join a gym [to become sexy and therefore] find a partner. It’s a rite of passage, perhaps. How can you call yourself a functioning member of society without a membership (even if you don’t use it)?
To be honest, this is not entirely related to fitness, and has more to do with different underlying psychological reasons someone better suited to explore should address with you.
As is the point of this series in the first place, you don’t need to spend money on these activities, especially if you’re not getting a good return. You have the right to, but I encourage you to liberate yourself!
B.) It's what I'm told you should do: This is a great one to follow “status quo” since it's also based on a supposed “truth”, except this isn’t related to keeping up appearances. Instead, it comes down to this: You want to be fit/healthy/attractive/sweat in front of strangers, but don't know or understand how. Perhaps you’re understandably intimidated by the apparent mountain of information in circulation (In your defense, there really is, but we'll ease your mind about that). Therefore you go to the gym or join a class, because that's at least the starting point (right??). Then it’s nothing but smooooth sailing.
Well, that may be the case, but very often that's also where it ends.
Here come the gainz!
C.) It's better than nothing: Can you identify with this? You exercise however many times per week over however many years, but you really don't have much to show for it. In fact, you may even be in worse condition than when you started. But how? You haven't really stopped. Or maybe you have. As a result, you [sort of] accept this is just how it will be, and figure it's better than nothing. You then adopt the frightening notion of “Well, imagine how I'd be if I didn't do anything at all.”
A friend and I were recently discussing this very topic in regard to his father, a heavy-set older man. “Yea, he plays tennis three times a week and jogs regularly,” he explained, “to look like...that.”
What about you? Have you gotten to the point where you’re just trying to maintain “not terrible”? Maybe lose enough weight so that your stomach doesn’t jiggle when you brush your teeth?
I strongly disagree. I sincerely mean this: You can do better.
2. Tobias “The Tortured”: You don't actually like training/exercise
You may be surprised to hear this, but I love this group, specifically because it's so common, and to me, so obvious with a simple solution. Plus, “Tobias” and “Ophelia” are a great (terrible) duo.
Allow me to set a common scene...I’m with a colleague or stranger in an elevator, walking to catch a train, or standing at a urinal. We probably have less than 60 seconds, and I get the typical “So what should I do in the gym?”, "How do I get myself to exercise?" or “How do I get jacked/lose weight/make my veins pop like that?”. Aside from my knowing the context or setting of this conversation is unlikely to answer you as quickly or easily as you think, the very first thing I bluntly, yet politely ask is: Do you actually like going to the gym or exercising?
Nearly every time I receive a variation of the following response: "Well...yeaaa," with inflection at the end. I implore you to tell me that without looking like you have appendicitis.
Liking hurts so much.
Work with me on this for a minute. No one's looking. Tell the truth, because it's totally fine. Do you actually like exercise? I’m referring to the process itself.
Guess what! It's fine if you don't.
I find many say yes because they think it's what I want to hear or what they should say (see: “Ophelia”). I actually feel bad that so many either find themselves compelled to say yes or basically are just in denial.
Stop torturing yourself.
3. Quinn “The Questful”: You haven't found the right activity (for you)
I love this sequence of personas. This is a great category or belief because it tells me three key pieces of information: 1.) You want to do something; 2.) You find displeasure with the “traditional” options; and 3.) You recognize you're probably not taking the right direction for you*. You find something new, put some faith in it, move on, repeat.
(*Please don't confuse this, though, with an excuse to jump around uncommittedly to a variety of methods or blame them on your lack of success.)
Do you identify with any of these scenarios?
- Gone to various gyms, but you find the machines and weights boring.
- Taken different types of classes, but they’re too demanding.
- Explored new methods of training, but they seem pointless.
- Employed a personal trainer, but the coaching intimidates.
- Followed a certain program, but it just plain hurts.
It would be remiss of me to ignore trends and fads. Believe me, I know they’re tempting and attractive. They feel like they’re the new answer to your goals/problems. They technically may, but there’s more to it. Plus, how many times have you experienced that very thought?
There are foundational truths to fitness, and many passing trends are either rebranded existing methodologies, or simply ineffective. Allow me to pose this question for you to ponder: Were[n’t] there fit, healthy people before this new fitness trend?
We all are inclined to be stimulated by different activities. I know I certainly have my preferences, but there’s nothing wrong with you for disliking or desiring a particular method.
4. Iris the “Irregular”: There’s a lack of commitment
No, I’m not referring to bowel movement. To quickly contradict myself, I intentionally used the word “commitment” as a means of calling attention to it. I’m actually quite averse to the term. It's honest, but accusatory, and lack of it inherently implies poor character. Furthermore, especially for those who may lack a certain enthusiasm toward training, it emphasizes the idea of required, “have to” and quantity. Save commitment for the grander life experiences.
Those relating to this persona are off-put by focusing on numbers. As a result, your first reaction is to think about how much or how many times are required. Is it one, three, five, seven (It should be an odd, prime number, obviously. That's just science. Or math.)? With that thinking, we're already starting out on the wrong foot. "So how many times do I need to go/do this?" (Is there a particular quantity that is effective? Well, technically no…and technically yes.)
Therefore, let's focus on “consistency”. We'll explore this further in the following article, but what's lacking here is the adherence to an achievable number or activity. There's almost no way to track, quantify or experience improvement without that, so hopefully it isn’t sporadically.
"I hope not sporadically."
5. Eve “The Elightened”: It's fun, social and keeps me sane
As mentioned in Part 1, “Eve” won the game in certain ways. She/He does it for the love of life! I can appreciate this approach and really in no place to judge results--with one caveat. If you're perplexed as to why you see poor results, you don’t exactly identify with this persona, and should think about what you’re trying to accomplish.
My hope, though, is the primary drivers--entertainment, happiness, catharsis, interaction--in this case give way to productive results, especially since I do believe there is a close relationship between the two and can be mutually catalytic to each other (in no particular order).
So who are you taking on your quest? Who needs to be ejected?
The outstanding point I must make is I know many of you are saying, "That's it. That's the reason(s) why I'm not seeing results. Once I sort out that, everything will be fixed!” That may or may not be the case.
Overcoming the confusion, thought patterns and beliefs described above takes work. The first step is identifying such “personas” and acknowledging they bear flawed thought patterns that lead to low fitness ROI.
In the nicest way possible, I hope you identified with a character type above as we explored them. We’re on our way to improving that ROI!
Let me know your thoughts. Have I left out any personas? Was there one you formerly identified with, but ejected them from your quest?
In the meantime, do me--and yourself--a favor. Stop hitting yourself.