Stop Hitting Pause: The Real Cost of Numbing Your Emotions
Have you ever found yourself lost in an endless loop of distractions—scrolling through your phone, binge-watching another season of a show you don’t even love, or reaching for that extra snack even though you’re not hungry? It’s as if, in those moments, you’re trying to escape from something, but you’re not even sure what. This is what I call "numbing services," the subtle, sneaky habits we turn to when we want to avoid the real stuff—the emotions, the stress, the uncomfortable truths we’d rather not face. But here's the hard truth: those numbing services might feel like a temporary escape, but in the long run, they’re actually trapping you in a cycle of avoidance. So, let me ask you: What are you really getting from these distractions? And even more importantly, is your highest, best self being served by them?
?Everyone has a favorite way to numb. For some, it’s a bottle of wine. For others, it’s endless hours on social media, late-night snacking, or losing themselves in video games. Sure, these things can offer relief for a moment. It feels good to zone out, to escape that gnawing discomfort, that anxious energy. But when the screen goes black, when the snack bowl is empty, or when the bottle’s drained—what’s left? Usually, that same discomfort, but now with a side of guilt or regret. "We cannot selectively numb emotions," says Brené Brown. "When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions." The more we lean on distractions, the more we disconnect from what really matters—joy, fulfillment, and, most importantly, the chance to change.
?Here’s the big question: what are these numbing services really doing for you? And don’t give yourself the easy answer of “helping me relax” or “taking the edge off.” Go deeper. Is that bag of chips truly soothing your stress? Is scrolling through Instagram making you feel more connected, or just more disconnected from yourself? Numbing services are like quick-fix patches on a leaking dam—they don’t actually solve anything. They give you a momentary sense of relief, but they never address the root of the discomfort. And let’s be real, that temporary fix comes at a price. These distractions steal your time, energy, and focus—precious resources that could be spent on real solutions, on the things that elevate you rather than numb you.
?Here’s where it gets serious: Is your highest self—the version of you that you dream of being—being served by these addictions? You know the answer. Jean Kilbourne hit the nail on the head when she said, “Addiction begins with the hope that something 'out there' can instantly fill up the emptiness inside.” But nothing “out there” can do that. Not food, not alcohol, not Instagram likes, and certainly not another episode of that show. The only thing that can fill that space is you—your choices, your growth, your willingness to face what’s really going on inside. Your highest self wants more than escape; it wants to thrive, to break free from the chains of these habits, to rise to the challenges life throws your way with clarity, courage, and power.
?But let's face it, numbing services are seductive. They offer a quick way to avoid pain, to push aside anxiety or fear. We fall into these habits without even realizing it, and before we know it, they’ve become part of our routine. "Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken," warned Warren Buffett. The danger lies in their subtlety. You don’t notice when they take over until you’re deep in it, trapped by the very thing you thought was giving you relief.
?So what now? This is where it gets exciting—because the moment you realize what’s happening, you’ve already taken the first step toward breaking free. It’s time to ask yourself some tough, empowering questions: Is this glass of wine truly helping me unwind, or am I avoiding something deeper? Is this social media binge making me feel good, or is it just numbing my sense of dissatisfaction? These are not easy questions, but answering them is the key to reclaiming control over your life.
Here’s the empowering part: confronting your numbing services doesn’t mean going cold turkey or becoming a productivity robot. It’s about getting honest with yourself. What are you trying to avoid? What emotion are you stuffing down with those distractions? What’s the uncomfortable truth you’re dodging? Carl Jung said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." The moment you make your habits conscious—when you stop operating on autopilot—you take back the wheel. You become the driver of your life, not just a passenger dragged along by habits that don’t serve you.
?And let me tell you, breaking free is doable. It’s not about deprivation or willpower. It’s about making the unconscious conscious, about recognizing the habits that no longer serve you and slowly, deliberately choosing alternatives that do. It’s about asking, “Is this habit leading me closer to the person I want to become?” Your highest self isn’t asking for perfection; it’s asking for awareness, for the willingness to face what’s hard and uncomfortable. Because on the other side of that discomfort? Growth. Change. Freedom.
?As the saying goes, "The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken." But once you recognize those chains, you’ve already weakened them. The power is in your hands. Start asking the right questions, confront the numbing services in your life, and begin choosing habits that truly serve the best version of you. Your highest self is waiting, ready to thrive—and all it takes is the decision to stop numbing and start living.