Stop hiding in the corner Baby! ??
Mel Stanley
Speaker, part-time Coach and Author of “Success without Compromise. Empowering the next generation of female leaders to achieve success on their terms”
Given the title of this newsletter it was only a matter of time before I featured the actual “No-one puts Baby in a corner” quote albeit the headline has a bit of an Austin Powers twist (younger readers may need to Google that!)
Johnny comes back to Kellermans to dance the last dance of the season with Baby and her over-bearing father has seated her out of view and harm’s way....
Get up on stage with the local bad boy, in front of everyone, oh the shame!! Of course she nails the dance and the lift and....well no need to be explicit
Back to her Dad. This is what happens to us girls. We are taught to be risk averse from an early age alongside being modest and quiet; to speak when spoken to and deflect compliments and credit because to do otherwise could be deemed impolite and arrogant
The result is a need to please and be liked. We become fearful of being seen as ambitious or having an opinion; being controversial and standing out……it's easier to blend than offend
So, in fact, we don’t always need someone else to hide us away, we can do a pretty good job of that ourselves
No surprise then that this month’s feature content is about being Visible at work and anywhere else for that matter
I'm a late adopter as far as listening to podcasts goes. I've hosted and guested on a few but I hadn't ever downloaded and listened to any. When I was on hols recently we had a 4-hour transfer between destinations so I listened to a few episodes of Steven Bartletts (he of Dragon's Den fame) Diary of a CEO with Karen Brady, Holly Tucker and finally Jacqueline Gold the longtime CEO of Anne Summers. I was instantly hooked
So much so I started writing down quotes and I was struck by something Jacqueline said
"Step out of your comfort zone and your confidence expands
We aren’t born shy its our situational environment which creates that. You can be shy and still have fire in your belly, you can still have that ambition and desire…If you are talking about something you are passionate about, that you really care about and live and breathe, once you get out there and get that first sentence out of the way it changes you. I am a great believer in courage comes first and if you have the courage eventually the confidence will come"
I’ve had people call me overly confident and self-assured which is bizarre as I spent most of my life being shit-scared of getting it wrong but I do have courage. Courage has driven me to take risks (like starting my first company straight out of Uni)?and whilst some of these risks have been spectacular fails, others have worked, so I've learned to trust my own judgment and become more confident as a result
A previous boss once said I embarrassed him by being too ‘out there’. This was principally because I always present standing at the front of the room; a throw back to my Agency days when no-one ever pitched sitting down, it's the fastest way to lose the audience. I also made a point of building relationships with members of the Board so they knew who I was, and I leveraged those relationships to my advantage. I was intentionally visible. He would have preferred me to keep quiet, do what I was told and allow him to gate keep those senior relationships. But no way was I going to minimise my presence to make him feel better, if someone has a problem with your confidence, that’s on them not you
Here are 4 Strategies to help you Stand out and be Visible at work without looking like an idiot or indeed embarrassing your boss!
If you’ve got to a place in your life where you know the value you bring, you are 100% clear on your core strengths, your talents and you know what you are capable of then don’t spend any more time hiding it and certainly don’t be cowed into submission by anyone who feels threatened by you
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More from Diary of a CEO
Holly Tucker, former CEO of Not on the High Street & latterly Holly & Co, talks about understanding and developing your brand as an entrepreneur. I've come across the Brand heart which she developed for her clients and have used it in my presentations because it's a much more creative representation of what Personal Branding is all about whilst retaining all the right elements
It's a reminder that as women, we all have the the ability and the tools for success we just need to read the manual...or listen to the podcast
What else is new?
I've started a YouTube channel to house all the videos I've amassed as a result of the live classes I've hosted and other LinkedIn video content. I've recently uploaded the video tutorials from my online introductory course "Personal Branding 101" so you can all access the content for free. Check it out, (just search Mel Stanley) and if you want the full course experience drop me a line and I'll send you the accompanying workbook as I can't load that onto YT
If YouTube isn't your thing then don't forget you can find lots more 'How to' content and all the videos from the previous newsletters on the 'No-one puts baby in a Corner' LinkedIn show page, just click on the gif ?? ??
June's Personal Brand Masterclass didn't happen....I was too busy!! It is however being rejuvenated for the ned of this month and into July as I reckon there are just about enough Wednesdays to fit it in before the school hols.
As a quick reminder it's for women on the cusp or leadership, recently in leadership roles or with ambitions to do so. The early bird discount is ￡300 for 5 hours coaching (3x 1 hour Group, 4 x 30-min interim private) Course Assignments and Bonus Resources and there are only 10 places available (8 as we go to press). Here are the dates for the Groups, the interim private sessions can be booked at your convenience
You can find out more and save your seat by clicking on the landing page or drop me a line if you have questions ??
Finally.....If you enjoy reading the newsletter please share it with other female colleagues and friends. And if you're receiving it twice having signed up via the FirstWoman Page and my profile page feel free to unsubscribe from the profile one (as most follow this version) but please....not both!!! ????