Stop Focusing on Mistakes!

We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. Yet, many spend too much time going over and over them in our mind, allowing self-criticism and anxiety to become our focus.

Self-Criticism

It’s so easy to be your own worst critic. After a mistake, do you replay it in your head, picking apart every detail? Constantly revisiting your mistakes prevents you from getting what you truly want or taking advantage of opportunities out of fear of failing. While self-reflection is helpful, constant self-criticism can drain your confidence and motivation.

How to Address It

• Identify your triggers What sets off this inner voice? Maybe it’s a harsh comment or a fear of disappointing others. Are you feeling inadequate around others or frightened by major decisions that might go wrong. Recognizing your triggers helps minimize their impact.
• Problem solve instead Dwelling on a mistake by replaying it repeatedly only makes it worse; instead, acknowledge it didn’t go as planned and focus on what you can learn from it. When you notice you're stuck in a negative loop, pivot to actionable problem-solving instead.
• Mistakes are part of learning No one gets everything right the first time. Mistakes show you where there’s room to grow. Keep in mind that they’re steppingstones toward improvement, not a sign of failure.

Anxiety

Mistakes often trigger anxiety. Maybe you fear criticism from others or start imagining worst-case scenarios. This emotional spiral doesn’t stop the mistake —it only adds to your stress!

How to Address It

• Step Away When anxiety starts building, hit pause. Practice deep breathing, take a break, go for a walk, or drink some water. Stepping away brings perspective and helps calm overthinking.
• Review with a balanced perspective If you’re already concerned about making mistakes, reviewing your work can feel intimidating. Instead of looking for ways you "failed," treat this as a quality check. Focus on improvement, not perfection.
• Respond differently When anxiety creeps in, take a moment to question your thoughts. Ask yourself, 'Is it truly as bad as it seems?' or 'What’s the best outcome I can hope for?' Practicing this shift in focus gradually calms the chaos of anxiety." If you need more help, just let me know!

The Spotlight Effect

Did you know people aren’t judging you as much as you think? Psychologists call this the "spotlight effect." It’s the belief that others are hyper-focused on your mistakes when they’re not.

How to Address It

• Remind yourself of reality People are often caught up in their own thoughts, and probably didn’t notice, or if they did, they’ve already forgotten it. That slip-up you’re embarrassed about may only be in your perception, not theirs!
• Focus on progress not perfection Instead of replaying a mistake, take pride in the fact that you’re showing up, learning, and making progress. Progress matters more than flawless execution.
• Be compassionate Talk to yourself as you would to a friend. If your friend made a mistake, you’d likely remind them that it’s no big deal and they’re still doing great. You deserve the same kindness you’d offer someone else.

Focusing on your mistakes is a distraction that keeps you from seeing your opportunity for growth and change. If you can only see what you’ve done wrong, you’ll never be able to see what you could do right.

Mistakes can feel overwhelming, but they don’t have to paralyze you. By identifying your triggers, distinguishing between unproductive thought loops and actionable problem-solving, and reminding yourself that no one is keeping score, you can change how you respond and grasp the opportunities for growth and change.

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