Stop Fixing People Start Empowering Others

In this article you will learn the following

-4 reasons why we try to fix problems of others

-29 Signs of people-fixers

-14 reasons why being a fixer is self-harming & self-sabotaging

-50+ tips on How to get out of fixer mindset?If you have grown-up in an environment of constant parental disapproval, rejection and physical and emotional abuse - you might start blaming yourself for getting abused.

As a result - in the adult life - you will start projecting your own dysfunctional-self onto others and will always find flaws - that needs fixing and can be done only by you.

The wish to fix others is codependence - it is about people who sacrifices their own needs while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.

People who are codependent often take on the role as a martyr - self-sacrifice for the needs of others is never a good thing.

Helping other people can become addictive - and people who have this addiction operates from the mindset of - whatever your ailment, problem or challenge - I have got a cure, a fix or a solution for you.

Later it acquires the form of destructive self-identity - and reshapes the definition of love - relentless string of sacrifice

A healthy caregiver nourishes their own needs to be the best version of themselves - in order to provide the best support for their loved ones.

29 signs of a people-fixer

1.?????The people with the fixer-mindset - also called white-knight-syndrome - get attracted towards those they can rescue and who will be morally indebted to them.

2.?????People with a fixer mentality have a need to save and rescue others

3.?????They believe that they have the solution for and know how to solve everyone’s problems

4.?????They often insist on patching something that isn’t broken.

5.?????Many of them certainly have noble intentions - but they keep going overboard overextend in their eagerness to solve any problem.

6.?????They would do people favors and repair aspects in other people’s life - which they don’t need help with.

7.?????A person with a fixer mentality have a compelling need to fix anything they perceive as defective, damaged or dysfunctional

8.?????Fixers can also become impatient and might invariably turn out as control freaks and dictators

9.?????They have belief systems which is the only right-way and are unable to understand that there may be several different views opposite to their and right

10. They want to be a person - which everyone looks up to because they facilitate all kinds of resources

11. They could be the people who experienced abandonment, abuse or who lost their caregiver in the past

12. These people are very sensitive and emotionally vulnerable and need to feel useful

13. They are very self-critical and also devalue others with vengeance

14. They may not be happy with other’s accomplishments, success and happiness

15. They feel comfortable with and help those who are insecure, sad, afraid and with low self-esteem

14 reasons why being a fixer is self-harming & self-sabotaging

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1.??????Trying to fix others takes up hell of a lot of time, efforts, resources as well as mental, physical and emotional energy

2.?????As an adult we must learn to take responsibility for our own choices and actions - but if you’re constantly?taking responsibility?on behalf of another person to shield them from the negative consequences - you kill their motivation to change

3.?????As a people’s problem-fixer - you may think you are helping others - the truth is you might actually be harming these people you’re not helping their situation.

4.?????Fixers are confused and don’t understand the difference between healing and fixing

5.?????All of us should others - by providing a safe space, by?listening mindfully, by coaching and guiding - but that is the limit of what you can do for others

6.?????Fixers try to change the person, their environment and their luck - all of which is beyond anyone’s area pf power, influence and control

50+ tips on How to get out of fixer mindset

1.?????Understand that trying to solve other’s problems uninvited - is not only a habit that is toxic for you as well to all those you love and care for most

2.?????Do some self-exploration - ask yourself these 7 questions and answer them honestly

???????I.???????????When you are not helping others - do you feel anxious or aimless

?????II.???????????Do you offer unsolicited advice to others - even in casual social settings

???III.???????????Do you feel defensive or dismissive when you learn that the people you helped have found another person’s advice more helpful

??IV.???????????Do you imagine helping others with life-changing advice could be vital to their success

????V.???????????Do You feel insecure when someone you are helping questions your motives

??VI.???????????Do you expect praise and acknowledgement for your help

?VII.???????????Do You feel as if you have made a sacrifice - after helping someone for a long period

3.?????You need to commit to being an equal partner -and not a savior.

4.?????Become a great coach - who work on the premise - to help build the ability when to the level when you won’t be needed as coach - anymore

5.?????Ask these questions to identify and understand your own motives

???????I.???????????Are you fixing their problem to solve your own emotional distress over?their?life choices

?????II.???????????Is your desire to help motivated by feelings of guilt, shame, or concerns of what other people might think

???III.???????????Do you need to be the hero or savior on order to feel valued

??IV.???????????Are you feeling responsible for things you have no control over, like other people’s choices or emotions?

????V.???????????Are you taking responsibility for the things you do control, like your actions, thought patterns, and responses?

??VI.???????????Think like great leaders - who never try to fix others?because - it rarely works, it pushes people away and because they come across as controlling-freaks

?VII.???????????Ask yourself these questions -if you’re the person who always wants to fix everyone’s?problems

VIII.???????????Have you applied the suggestions and solution that you are giving others - in your own life

??IX.???????????If you are the recipient of?the same treatment - like how you are behaving with others - how it would make you feel

????X.???????????Would you feel loved, supported, cared and encouraged - if someone gives the same solutions that you are giving others

??XI.???????????Are you facing the same problems in your own very life that you are unable to solve yourself yet giving advice to others

For full article - please read "Are you a people fixer stop fixing others" in the blog section of Success Unlimited Mantra - link in the 1st comment