Stop Depending on Me! (Lead Your Team to Independence for Your Own Freedom)

Backstory01: Throughout my childhood, when I encountered words I did not understand or had a challenging homework spelling assignment, I asked my parents about the words. Their consistent refrain was, "Look them up in the dictionary." I used to think, "How can I look them up when I don't know how to spell them?" Suffice it to say, I hunted until I found them. After awhile, looking up words became my defacto process before bothering my parents.

Backstory02: During my years as a summer camp counselor, campers would come screaming to our counselors' tent terrified of the latest bug, spider, or slithery being inside or on their tents. Little did I let them know I was equally terrified as any number of nature's inhabitents would surely end up in our tent or my sleeping bag once campers learned of my queasiness. I had a series of nature handbooks in a crate inside the front of our tent. Every time a camper screamed for us to rescue them from what they found, we refused to do so until they researched it in those handbooks and returned to us with information about it. By the time we received their report, the cringe-worthy being was either long gone or became an intriguing new friend to the camper.

Backstory03: I managed a client-facing team at a Fortune 50 corporation. In order to focus on my own management responsibilities and avoid being a micro-manager in theirs, I set the stage for their empowerment. I asked that they let me know before an expected client call due to a decision they made or action they took that could result in the client calling me. Once forewarned and informed of a potential situation, I supported my staff and worked with the client to remedy their situation. Then, I counseled - or praised - the employee behind the scenes. They grew to be comfortable with taking initiative and risks, trusted that I had their backs, would help them when needed, and grew to be better at their jobs over time.

Backstory04: I am currently the president for an all-volunteer-run organization that focuses on women's leadership. Our board members span generations from "Z" through "Traditionalist/Silent" (although not so silent). When committee chairs ask me if they should (or can) do something, I look back to them for their insights, assure them they are the leaders of their areas of responsibility, and usually say, "Go for it!" Part of the conversation involves the question, "What's the worse that can happen if...?" We also discuss provisions for what to do if "stuff" does happen.

Full transparency: I am fully aware that I am most comfortable as an S3/S4 leader who is challenged if leading D1/D2 (or R1/R2) performers. Having learned and practiced Hersey's Situational Leadership framework while a corporate manager, I've adjusted my leadership approaches over the years based on the competencies and performances of my team members.

This is a life-long effort for me and I find myself still - 40+ years and continuing - consciously and intentionally leading situationally. (Sidebar: Learn or refresh your knowledge of situational leadership at The Center for Leadership Studies. Google it. I have zero affiliation with the organization yet refer to its resources for continual learning.)

Enough backstories. What's my point and leadership message?

If you, as a team, department, or executive-level leader find yourself feeling annoyed by your people coming to you for situations and decisions you wish they would go ahead and make themselves, look at your own leadership practices first. Are you prone to micro-managing? Are you risk-averse and spreading that fear to your team? Sometimes we don't see ourselves objectively. You might need to ask a colleague / peer manager, your own supervisor, a leadership coach, mentor, or even a direct report whose perspective you value about your approach to leading people with different experiences and performance levels.

Then take a step back and try letting go first of small-consequence decisions. Supply your staff with the guidance, tools, coaching, or help they may need to develop their independent thinking and actions. When it looks like they are ready to take on more initiative and responsibility, let them. Keep helping them grow so that you become freer to do what you should be doing as a manager, leader, supervisor, executive, or whatever your title / role is to move your organization forward.

Easier "said" than done, I know. And there will be direct reports who do not respond to this approach. I find the Pareto Principle (80/20 rule) is real. Learn about the situational leadership framework to uplevel your knowledge and skills on this resource that has helped me lead throughout the years.

Lead your team to independence ... for your own freedom!

Think about it! Please share this writing with leaders you know and "follow" me to receive regular issues of this Leadertorial. I appreciate you for your attention to reading and sharing my messages. (Note of assurance: This was 100% written by me and not generative A.I. tools.)

Sylvia