Stop Denying the Warning Signs

How to tune into the messages of life and accept change

We all want positive changes, but negative changes are challenging to face. And according to Author Susan Haworth, M.Ed., M.S., that’s exactly what we need to do to live the life we want to live.

Susan Haworth’s book “A Change Would Do You Good” encourages readers to stop ignoring the warning signs of our own lives.?

“When we tend to deny warning signs, we also fail to do something about them. So the first big step for my readers is acceptance. Accept the beauty in imperfections. See the situation for what it is, positive or negative. It’s not even about action at this point - just awareness.” -Author Susan Haworth

Most of us have a love-hate relationship with change. We want the good change, we despise the bad change - we avoid it all by tiptoeing cautiously until we’re certain it's okay to make the leap, and ultimately we view change to life as the fruitcake is to Christmas. It might be good, but do we really want to ruin everything to find out?

Is Change Showing Us A Lesson?

We all know about denial. It’s a common reaction to life when things aren’t going well or the way we want them to. And sometimes it seems that these abrupt changes, in relationships especially, keep showing up until we face them.

“I’ve had a number of clients who’ve come to me and they think that the big problem in their lives is their work. It’s easy to blame everything on work. “I’m stressed out because of work. I’m miserable because of work.” When they dig deeper, they realize that there are other things that are causing them distress. Sometimes it’s their personal relationships. Often, it’s their unrealistic expectations about work or relationships. That’s what really causes a lot of suffering.”

Denial runs deep - and the minute something goes awry while we’re attempting to accept change - is the moment we begin to shut down and decide that this whole change gamut just isn’t for us after all.

The minute you accept that change doesn’t happen on your terms - the easier it will be for you to accept change and even flow with it into something greater. Another big part of the change process and of life is coping with disappointment that other people are not going to cooperate just because you want them to. You have to learn how to accept that. Acceptance is a big part of it. We are not in control of change. Period. That’s it.

COVID forced us to meet this truth head on, and some of us thrived and some of us tanked. When we couldn’t get to the gym, we fell into two groups. Some of us sat on the couch and packed on that COVID weight and some of us used everything from water jugs to soup cans just to get in a few arm curls. This is the difference in action. This is how change can manifest in our lives.

Acceptance + Action

It’s in these spaces where we can get a good idea of our own relationship with change and how well we accept and adapt to what is constant and rapid. In some ways, change requires us to be intentional and willing to take action, even if we don’t know what's around the corner. (Hint: we’re never going to know what's around the corner.)

You have to have an action plan to make the change happen and you have to adhere to it and adjust it as you go along. People declare, “I want this. I want a new relationship.” They wait for the UPS driver to come and that's the only person they see everyday. You have to do something about it. Take action today that your future self will thank you for.

A Few Final Thoughts On Change

-?Set realistic expectations for change. Unrealistic goals and expectations can set you back, sometimes permanently, because this is when people tend to give up.

-?Break it up into small action items. If you want to get a new job, create small steps to get you there, and celebrate each step!

-?Change doesn't happen when we’re resentful or angry or resistant. Adopting a new, positive attitude about change can help change the way change changes our lives… really!!