Stop Complaining and Start Living

Few days back at work, It was like any other day until, I bumped into one of my colleague - a wonderful and amazing lady and we started conversing. The topic started with the weather which is terrible, cold, wet etc. Then, I remembered and told about my friend whom, I met few days ago. He had been living in Melbourne since last ten years and thinking of relocating to his home country because, the weather was always so bad, for 7 months in a year it is cold, windy etc. The country where he comes from is always warm and things will be much brighter there and more cheerful (he reckons).

Alright Ramana, this is what it is, My good friend started talking." No one in this world is happy by caring or changing the externals. The problem is that the externals are always changing and it is the nature of the world. Also, what you perceive as happiness today, basing on the external things like weather, or a new mobile phone, the same thing tomorrow you would start hating. Today you are cold and start to think how good it is to be a warm weather or see how terrible this Mobile looks (after 1 year when a New Mobile is in the market.) Until and unless, one finds his inner self and connection with the source of all joys a person can never be happy. Just imagine, how lucky we are to be in the situation that we are. We have a good job, an office where the temperature is maintained at optimum level, we have warm cloths. So that, if we feel cold, we can simply cover up with warmer clothes or drink a cup of hot coffee. Think of all the homeless people living on the streets, without proper warm clothes or money to buy a cup of coffee. For, example I come from a country where it is always quite warm but, somehow I came here and decided to live here for as long as I can, because it is more peaceful and happy place in spite of bad weather. Whereas if you simply change the place, your body will still be the same and after a while it will starts whinging about the weather, place, people etc. There are some people who are always complaining and whinging about things in life and my advice is that, never entertain them or hang around with them, because they will drain your life energy".

I told her, “Wow...that's amazing, quite an intense, deep, insightful, thought provoking. Thank you very much for your amazing words of wisdom, I never expected this from you and you really made my day”.

And, these words had deep impression on me and I reflected on these thoughts for the rest of the day. I suddenly remembered the words of  Stephen Covey about Circles of Concern and Influence.

In his famous book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" he writes about two circles which contain our lives, the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence. It is a wonderful book and I strongly encourage everyone to read it. Stephen, talks about how we have two invisible circles. This is where we invest our thoughts, planning, thinking, working into. There is a circle of Concern which is basically, some people putting too much of their efforts into things beyond their control like, National debt, Environmental issues, A meteorite coming close to the earth, I even remember a friend who used to worry about death. Actually, no so much of worry but, his theory was that ultimately he is going to die and then, why bother doing anything at all in life. As you would have sensed, this is a circle which most of us have little control.Ofcourse, we can always do our bit in the grand schema of things like, use bio degradable bags instead of plastic bags, do not waste things etc. but really, we don’t need to think whole night about these issues.

Then, there is the circle of influence like our children, family, relatives, friends, health, job and work place, which if you decide to do something can certain have an influence and that’s where we should be putting our efforts and heart into.

So, Stephen Covey while talking about, Habit 1 which is being Proactive in life, says that your life doesn’t just happen. Whether you know it or not, it is carefully designed by you by the choices and decisions you make in life. He goes on to say that to develop the Habit 1, be Proactive in life and take responsibility for life and stop blaming things on parents, grandparents, the nation etc.

Thus, instead of reacting to or worrying about the situations one does not have control on, become proactive and focus your energies and efforts in the circle of influence.

And after that, I have stopped complaining and lived happily ever after..