Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.

Alright, here we go. I'm a bit out of practice with this whole "blog" thing, in fact, do people even say, "blog" anymore? Doesn't matter, the point is- I've been chewing on this idea for a while and sometimes I just need to put it on paper to figure out what I actually think about it.

Comparing yourself to others is detrimental to your own potential.  

Here's the truth, I've lived the majority of my life constantly and subconsciously comparing myself to others. Judging my friends and strangers alike at light speed. Now, I think we all do this, so before I write out some examples just ponder that until the empathy stirs.

I found myself in this constant state of - other focused evaluation.

• Appearance: shape, style, smell, shoes, hair, etc
• Success: title, income, car, house, etc
• Social: relationships, friends, family, clout, etc

There's a lot to breakdown here, but let's start with the point of this post - the why?!

Judgement of others is a coping mechanism of ones own inner insecurities. 

At it's core, judging someone else is an effort to make yourself feel better about yourself. As insecure, fragile humans in constant need of validation we want to be better than others. The sad part is most of the time we're just treading water in our own personal development, and we tend to judge others on the criteria where we can best them without improving ourselves.

Here's where I caught myself. I was in the gym pumping some iron. I'm 180lbs after a big meal. There's a guy with arms twice my size throwing up double the weight I can. I kid you not, I found myself judging the dudes shoes. His SHOES! It's funny to even type that, but how perfect of an example. My inner self was so insecure in that moment that I was grasping at straws to try and validate and make myself matter.

Take a step back. You think this example sounds ridiculous, and you're correct. Why? Because my value has nothing to do with how much weight I can lift. His value has nothing to do with the kind of shoes he wears. This is where the lens comes into focus and we see the problem clearly- a persons value is not associated with their appearance, apparent success, or social sphere, yet this is how we judge one another...

 A life free from comparison has no limits. 

If my judgements of others have no bearing on their value or mine, then why the hell would I live a life confined to those walls?! There's a chance this is how you live your life now, and you've read to this point thinking *this James guy is a serious douche*. In which case, DM me, teach me your ways, I want to get there.

Here's what I'm driving at with all this- we're all seeking self-actualization. We want that beautiful synthesis where our gifts, talents and abilities mesh with our passion and purpose and we glow with electric fury. I promise you, from the bottom of my heart, that will never happen if you're view of yourself is through a lens comparison to others. So join me in the slow and tedious process of calling yourself out when you start comparing yourself with others, and be your best you.

Why write this on LinkedIn?

In business we're constantly striving to be our best. For me personally this thought exercise has freed me to make more realistic goals for myself, and challenge myself in areas I wouldn't otherwise. It's very easy in an office setting to settle in to the pecking order based off comparison, and often it limits what you're capable off.

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Next up: I'm going to drop some thoughts on the importance of competition and how that differs from passive comparison...