Stop Childhood Trauma Highjacking Your Adult Life and Relationships

It’s a choice and a process.?

Will thou be made whole? Do you want to be healed? Do you want to be made whole? John 5:6.

The Creator wants you to know today, that where He’s showing up in your life, inviting you on a journey?to heal your disappointment, your brokenness, that place of hurt and pain, your response to Him is a choice and the healing will be a process.? It is an invitation. You may accept or reject.?I implore you to say, “yes” even?with the understanding that the journey to wholeness is a choice and a process.? ?

You may opt to stay hung up on being offended or release it and take the journey to a new state of being called ‘healed’ and “made whole”.?

It’s a choice and a process.?

Why opt to continue in perpetual pain, when you don’t need to? Why refuse to be free from fear?? Why hang on to offence when it has the force of death on it to steal from, destroy and kill you? You don’t have to.?Let the Creator show you how to let go and receive the healing.?

His question to you today is, “Do you want to be made whole?”

The Intelligent Force that created you really wants you to be whole. All you have to do, is be willing to receive and to actually receive. If your hands are full holding on to 'A' there's no room to receive 'B' so you'll have to do some letting go!

Some people may say they want to receive the healing but are terrified of the process. It's true. Sitting with the pain as you process it with God, on your own or with a trusted, therapist or trauma-informed?coach may feel painful in the beginning but, taking the brave step will lead to wholeness and increased emotional strength. The process heals the psychological and emotional pain and brings new insights that fortify your mental grit. The resilience you'll gain will help you outlast difficult times and navigate complex relationships.? ?

Be willing to receive and God will help you gain the insights and strategies to help you break familial cycles or systemic oppressions that oppose your wellbeing.? He will strengthen you to make wise choices that promote healing with each new day.?

?

The next few?paragraphs may be triggering for some people.

One area in life where God’s intervention for healing requires your choice and acceptance to take the journey towards healing and wholeness is in the area of recovery from the impact of developmental trauma. Unlike one-off traumatic events that may lead to post traumatic stress, developmental trauma which are adverse childhood experiences, including mistreatment and neglect? erodes a child's ability to trust,?negatively affects their worldview and leads to complex trauma. Needless to say these are often carried into adulthood. To survive the pain of being mistreated the child may develop coping mechanisms and beliefs that affect their ability to have secure friendships and relationships.?They may be fearful and not even be aware. They may ascribe?certain identities to others in order to feel safe. Sadly if others aren't able to live up to these identities to the 'T' they may be perceived as not being safe. Hence, they may pull away from or push away people who truly love them because, it's challenging to override the physiological wiring they developed as children to help them survive. Sadly, those mechanisms do not fit with adult life and relationships and may result in cyclical problems.

?

One way complex trauma plays out in relation to attachment is the fear of abandonment. This fear may lead to thinking and behaviours such as:

becoming emotionally closed?

becoming unrealistically demanding

holding unrealistic expectations of others

only tolerating?surface level friendships

never really trusting anyone including intimate partners

inability to?discern the difference between what's safe and what's a threat so treats everyone and all situations as a threat (this can often be an unconscious response to feeling stressed)

fear intimacy

often feel?insecure, indecisive, empty or even worthless

people please and do?life in line with what they think? others want

may secretly resent people-pleasing

pull?away from or push?away people who genuinely love them

unconsciously create rifts if they feel they are becoming dependent or too vulnerable and

are always?searching for evidence that confirm their fears

The effects of the fear of abandonment can be devastating?both for the one who holds this fear and their loved ones. This may result in them?unintentionally?abandoning?themselves and others who love them.

God desires to bring healing to those who can see the pattern and want to be healed. It will be a choice and a process.? ?

The pain of being rejected can make?individuals who were mistreatment?as children feel unworthy of real attention and pure love.? They struggle to truly trust and may see those who genuinely love them as imposters. While the healing journey?will be different? for everyone, one common factor for each person?during the healing process is to?align with their true God-given identity and believe or come into agreement with the reality that they are worthy of beautiful things. This is easier said than done. Coaching helps. Both with tools, setting goals?and having an accountability life transformation partner.

Responding to God’s brain healing process helps. Some people struggle to maintain consistency in sitting with God?and accessing His healing plan. To get to that stage of alignment with your God-given identity is a daily choice and the journey to?embody it, a process. The process may be challenging at times, but is necessary for the healed, fulfilling life you'd gain. ?

Healing from childhood trauma is a choice and a process. God has the answers and wants to help you. Say yes, and allow Him.

If this post resonates with you and you'd like to explore to see if coaching to help you overcome developmental trauma may be right for you, connect with me?here: https://calendly.com/smartmindscoaching/career-coaching-call?