Stop chasing success
Dear Team Joy,
Much love, thank you for being on Team Joy. ??
Like many of you, I was prescribed a clear view of success, and I spent a lot of time chasing it.
Success to me meant continued access to prestigious, intellectually stimulating, financially lucrative opportunities (that I might want).
I made decisions in my life (where to live, what to do, maybe even who to date ??) based on this prescribed view of success.
On many “successful” paths, the steps on the path are pre-defined and largely out of our control. I found this prescription both comforting and confining. You go from one box to the next, hoping to exceed expectations at each stage, and being rewarded when you do.
I squished myself to fit into the pre-determined management consulting box, and while I liked aspects of it, at the end of the day I sensed it didn’t feel quite right. It actually felt bad, which was surprising, because I was doing the job well and therefore the equation should have worked.
The implicit equation I was following was:
If I am successful, then I will be happy. #classic
But that's not where I was. I was successful and lost.
I sensed my true priorities, the way I wanted to work, love, and take care of myself didn’t fit with the ride I was on.
This moment, of feeling simultaneously successful and lost, is the emotional state I meet many of my clients in. The common thread is:
I am on a path I realize I don’t want to be on anymore. I am terrified of doing something different, but I am also terrified of continuing on.
Here’s why I sense this moment is so terrifying.
Deep down you sense you are lost.
If the path you’re on doesn’t lead to where you want to go, if you're looking at the partners or jobs ahead of you thinking I don't want that, then you don’t have a roadmap to follow anymore. Where do you channel all of your efforts?
Taking a risk feels too scary, but going to work everyday now feels like wearing a mask.
You’re stuck.
Now what?
Who do you follow? What do you solve for? Will you just fade into insignificance if you leave “the path” or start acting differently on it?
Chasing success is supposed to bring happiness.
But what if it doesn’t?
How do you go from the sense that you’re lost to (as corny as it sounds) this sense that you’re found?
How do you create the sense of knowing where you want to go in your life, feeling confident in your decisions, and prioritizing the things that are most important to you?
You have to find yourself.
I am not kidding. You might be thinking come on, that's silly, can’t you just tell me to get another job?
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Sure, we could do that, but who is to say you won’t find yourself in the exact same situation?
To truly create what you’re after you have to do the work of getting to know you again:
There is so much to learn about you. ??
By having the courage to ask these questions, and begin listening, you start activating your own compass for navigating your big (and small) life decisions. You start feeling like you are back in the driver’s seat of your own life, instead of being running over.
To go from feeling lost → found, I have learned there are 3 big shifts to make:
These shifts are the exact work we do in Activate.
Six leaders meeting weekly for six months with the courage & determination to do things differently.
What current cohort members are saying:
I joined Activate because I didn’t want the safe path - I wanted the empowerment and expansion that comes from healthy, courageous risk. Activate has given me a community of support and accountability from kind, brilliant people to lean courageously into the life I want for myself. Time and again, Isabel has helped pull out of me what I’ve been afraid to admit to myself. I am more empowered because of it. - Current Activate Cohort member
Activate is the best thing I have created professionally, because it actually works.
I launched the pilot last October with six kind, brilliant people willing to take a chance on a program I made up. But more importantly, they were willing to take a chance on themselves.
Since then I have watched them say yes again, and again:
Yes, to following their joy.
Yes, to doing it together.
Yes, to the adventures on their hearts.
Yes, to advocating for themselves with their bosses, friends, partners, and families.
Yes, to putting their dreams (personal & professional) front & center.
If you are stuck on a path you don’t want to be on anymore:
If you are tired of feeling exhausted, lost, and stuck.
Join me.
There are a couple of ways to get started. Join the waitlist to be the first to know when the next cohort is launching. Or connect with me directly to learn more about the program.
Much love,
Isabel