Stop "The Blame Game"
Lisa Haggar
Straight talking, HR Director who puts the Human back into HR | Linkedin's Queen of HR | HR Author
My first mentor taught me about business in fables and metaphors. She explained about when you’re up against it, your brain works in one of three ways.
1. Fight
2. Flight
3. Freeze.
She asked me if WE were stuck in the Serengeti and came across a lion, what would I do? Based on the theory above I said “Well you can’t fight a lion, doing nothing is not a viable option, so I’m left with flight, but you cant out run a lion”… so quite perplexed I said I didn’t know.
She smiled and said "You don’t need to out run the lion, you only need out run me!"
So by this definition, the lion would eat her which would give me more time to run and hide. So what did I take from this…that to succeed I needed to be quicker than my opponent? ….Quite the opposite!
What’s this got to do with a 'blame culture', you ask?
Firstly let’s look at the definition of the word: the tendency to look for one person or organization that can be held responsible for a bad state of affairs, an accident (Collins English Dictionary)
Think about a time where a colleague has insinuated you were responsible for saying/doing something you didn’t, because it was easier to embellish the story of events, to give a more favourable outcome for them. They have done whatever it took to get themselves off the hook and have no conscious about putting you on it. They go into fight mode, but not to stand up and fight the lion, but to offer you as the sacrificial lamb.
People have a severe sense of what’s right and wrong. If they feel wronged they will freeze for a while, then come out fighting. They will seek to balance out the injustice. They will wait until the opportunity presents itself and reciprocate and as such the blame culture is born.
She taught me to win you don’t need to be quicker, you need to be smarter, however a win is not a win, if it costs you your integrity.
Next time you make a mistake, be honest, take personal responsibility for your own actions and STOP the Blame Game. #takeresponsibility #itwasme
Business Architect|Management Accounting, supporting businesses in understanding their numbers and how to improve their bottom line through people and systems. People execute processes. that drive the bottom line.
5 年Just discovered this article and really thought provoking.? Our first response is always defensive, but then when we run this story over and over in our minds we create all sorts of unnatural behaviours. Unless we become aware of our default response and learn how to respond without the destructive emotions.
MD | CTO | CIO | IT Director | Operations Director | Strategic Leader | Strategist | Commercial | A people-first leader, CTO or CIO who delivers excellence in a business to drive revenue growth, and mitigate risks.
5 年Excellent article, Lisa Haggar. ?Timely for my work this week! In my career, I have and have to deal with this quite a lot from both internal and external customers, for me it's not about 'blame', it's two things for me, and highlighted below; 1. Integrity ?2. Changing attitudes, it's about getting everyone on-board to do the right thing.
Published Ghostwriter | Speaker | Presenter
5 年Thought-provoking article, Lisa, and even more interesting to me because I talk about fight-flight-freeze response when discussing self-defence with my students. But here's the thing, if we come face to face with a lion, a mugger, being ran over by a bus or any other dangerous situation, it is natural for us to feel the adrenaline dump that leads to a fight, flight or freeze response. If we are feeling that way in our workplace, then a fear culture has been created rather than a growth culture. That comes first; the fear culture. Leaders need to nurture a culture of openness, learning, discovery and growth. When values are aligned and the right team has been recruited with managers who can genuinely lead and inspire, nobody feels the need to avoid responsibility or offer someone else up as a sacrificial lamb.
Multi-disciplined Business Growth Advisor - advancing Business Models and Processes
5 年Agreed... A win is not a win if it costs you your integrity..
Contract & Business Development Manager
5 年It’s all about integrity, being able to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning.