Stop being a Zoom Zombie

You are always late and barely present. Hopping from meeting to meeting while multitasking in between. As you participate, you selectively listen to how you might “add value” with points of view. At the end of the day, you are left feeling depleted, disconnected, and longing for a better way.

Does this sound like you or someone you know?

This way of operating has become the way of how we engage professionally -- even prior to the pandemic. With the convenience of conference technologies from the comfort of our homes, this feeling of perpetual drifting is becoming even more evident.

While this way of meeting may seem “productive”, what is happening is that we are literally missing each other. We are on autopilot and stuck in the loop of “analyze + react”, each taking turns hammering away at problems the way we see them. The results? We end up tactically chipping away at non-essentials and missing the real issue at hand -- and losing valuable time together.

Worst of all, we are losing our ability to show up at our best and truly listen to what is needed of us. When we collectively show up in this way, we lose the opportunity to be in strategic and integrative dialogues with one another. In other words, we are missing the bigger picture and shared understanding of 'reality'. Often, what happens is that we end up solving different problems even though we are in the same conversation with one another!

As a mindful leader, we have a choice. Instead of analyze + react, we can choose to perceive + respond with keen awareness, presence, and grace. 

Here are some practical ways that can help:

1.     Create a transition time between meetings – even if it is just 30 seconds! Find that time to mentally and physically “leave behind” what you were tackling just before so you can start your next meeting with a clean slate. Create your own ritual. You can take some deep breathes, get a drink of water, do a few jumping jacks – you name it.  If you are the host/facilitator of the meeting, take a few seconds to help your group get settled so they can be present. The synchronicity of a group is highly dependent on the starting point of the communion. 

2.     Pay attention to how you listen. Truly listen with a beginner’s mind and heart.

• What is being shared? (information, context, emotions, etc.)
• What is not being said but is in the undercurrent?
• How might I help contribute in a way that advances the collective dialogue?

Make a point to ask questions before injecting your own point of view and be truly curious. This will help the group surface unconscious biases and help elevate the collective intelligence. By doing so, we can co-create a much more coherent, generative, and strategic dialogue.

3.     Respond not react. Once you have a true sense of what is waiting to be resolved (often, this is buried in the undercurrent), take a few seconds before responding.

To respond (vs. react), is to meet the situation in a way that is responsive to the state of the environment you are in. To truly influence, one responds in a way that can be received by others – at the right time, with the right message, supported by the right context. 

Sometimes, not responding is a valid response. What does this mean? Not every thought in our stream of consciousness needs to be verbalized just-in-time. Keenly discerning what is important can really help with break through the noise and communicate what ultimately matters. 

By paying attention to the above, we can shift towards Perceiving + Responding rather than our automatic reaction of Analyzing + Reacting. As we listen more attentively, approach the problem with curiosity, and build on each other's perspectives, we offer our full selves and our presence; in return, we receive the gift of true connection and breakthrough thinking. Hopefully, we can also connect a little bit more with our own humanity - even in Zoomlandia.