STOP BEING NICE - Be Kind
James Keeney
Assistant Vice President - Banking Center Manager I Business Banking I Wealth Management I Project Management
What's Up!
Too many leaders put “being nice” ahead of “being kind.” And it’s holding their teams, and themselves, back.
Here’s the deal: nice avoids conflict. It’s all about keeping things smooth, avoiding tension, and walking away feeling good. Kind, on the other hand, is about leaning into the discomfort. It’s honest. It’s constructive. And it’s rooted in one thing: helping people grow.
Let’s break it down with a simple scenario:
Your employee says: “I’m sorry I was late. It won’t happen again.”, despite the fact they've been late 3 times a week for the last month.
The nice manager responds: “No worries. Traffic’s crazy. Just try to be on time tomorrow.”
The kind manager? Different story: “I want to be straight with you. You’ve said this multiple times over the past few weeks, and I haven’t seen any change. Timeliness is key to your success here, and I want to help you get there. Let’s figure out what’s really going on so we can fix it together.”
Nice avoids the hard stuff. Kind tackles it head-on.
Nice sounds like you care. Kind shows that you actually do.
Why Kindness Wins
Here’s the kicker: research shows that honest, empathetic feedback is one of the biggest drivers of growth. It builds trust and raises the bar for accountability.
领英推荐
Nice might keep the peace today, but kind is what drives real progress tomorrow.
How to Start Being Kind
1. Lead With Care - Kindness isn’t about being harsh, it’s about being real and compassionate. Make it clear you’re invested in their success, not just pointing out their flaws.
2. Be Clear, Not Cruel - Don’t dance around the issue. Be direct but frame it in a way that shows you’re on their side. It’s not “you failed”; it’s “let’s figure out how to improve this together.”
3. Follow Up Like You Mean It - Kindness doesn’t stop at the conversation. Check in, offer support, and celebrate when progress happens.
Your Challenge
Think back to a time when you were nice instead of kind. What would have changed if you’d chosen kindness? Now, pick one situation this week to practice this approach. Yes, it’s uncomfortable! It's MEANT TO BE, because that discomfort is where growth lives.
Next week, we’re diving into “framing vs positioning” and how it can take your personal and professional life to the next level.
Until then, remember, nice is easy. Kind is transformational.
Yours in progress,
James W Keeney