Stop Beating Yourself Up! (The Perfection Buster)!

It’ such a common thing to do and serves no purpose other than to make us feel bad and yet still we all do it.

Every single one of us has at some time or another beaten-up on ourselves because we have fallen short of our own expectations, the perceived expectations of others, or we have fallen short in the comparisons we have made between ourselves and others.

Oh JEEZ! What a mess right?

What a crazy thing to do to ourselves and yet we do it all of the time.

Well, I’m here to tell you today to stop beating up on yourself and here’s why…

First, let me ask you something…

Have you ever come out of one of these internal ‘beat-up’ sessions feeling any better for the experience?

Of course not! 

I know because I have done this too by the way. I’m not immune to this stuff, but these days I recognise the patterns and know what to do in order to stop it and run a more productive pattern that makes me feel a whole hell of a lot better about myself.

And you can do that too by the way…

It’s like we’re all looking for perfection in ourselves, in the world we live in and in the people we come into contact with.

But what is perfection?

And does it really exist?

1: What is perfection?

I want to start here because when you scratch the surface away, it is the act of seeking perfection on some level that is causing the internal strife.

Perfection is, without doubt, subjective, and its definition will change according to the perceptions and belief system of the person who is seeking it.

Perfection is therefore not constant but variable, not static but flowing. It is never going to be held up on high as one exacting level of standard we should all aspire to because we all see it differently.

No, my friend, my idea of perfection will not be yours and yours will not be mine and that is one constant that will never change.

2: And does it really exist?

Yes and No.

Yes, the idea of perfection exists in the mind of each one of us, but in very different ways, therefore perfection is in each mind that considers it.

So in that sense, yes it does exist.

But also, no… because it is not black or white, night or day, one thing or the other, it can only ever be whatever meaning you attach to it.

So that being the case, let’s revisit some of the habits we have around the subject of ‘perfection’ and see if we can debunk them…

I mentioned earlier that this internal conflict, frustration and general ill-feeling towards ourselves is down to three major things that we most likely engaging in, and they are as follows:

Cause #1: We have fallen short of our own expectations.

Remedy #1: Stop drawing your expectations from external sources and stop concerning yourself with how you think you may look to others. It is your life to do with as you please and you should live it according to your own ideals. So start setting expectations based on what you want for yourself and what you feel to be realistic to you and achievable. 

Remember, whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

The only thing you should concern yourself with is being happy. Find out what makes you happy and do more of that. I would wager that whatever perfection means to you, it resides somewhere real close to what makes you truly happy and gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Don’t look for perfection outside of that place, because you won’t find it anyplace else. Just look inside, reconnect with yourself and hold your own council.

Cause #2: We have fallen short in the perceived expectations of others.

Remedy #2: Stop worrying about what others may think. You might be surprised to know that they are probably not as concerned with you as you think! They have their own lives to be getting on with. 

The clue is in the word ‘perceived.'

The issue for many of us is that we think we are being judged by others when the reality is really quite different. 

Yours is the only opinion that matters. Yours is the face that stares back at you in the morning when you brush your teeth and it will be that way until you leave this earthly plane, so you have got to like who you’re looking at right? 

So, celebrate you, celebrate your greatness and seek no council or approval from anywhere other than your gut instinct.

Cause #3: We have fallen short in the comparisons we have made between ourselves and others.

Remedy #3: This is a classic example of misuse of the ‘Law of Relativity’ which basically means, that we are comparing ourselves unfavourably with others. 

So just STOP IT!

Just concern yourself with being the best version of you that you can be and rest assured that you will live a life that is on purpose, passionate, loving, successful and happy. 

And all because you just decided to be YOU.

Live your truth and let others aspire to your levels and not the other around. 

You set your own standards from now on, deal?

You’ll know what perfection means to you and what to do to achieve it, but you’ll keep it to yourself, right?

You see, it all starts and ends with you. Your life experience is totally dictated by the meanings you attach to each and everything that comes into your awareness.

Attach better meanings and be happy.

Until next time!