Stop Asking Yourself This Question

This is something I’ve heard a lot lately.

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What if...

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• ...it all goes wrong?
• ...I fail?
• ...I make a mistake?
• ...I can't do it right (perfect) first time?
• ...I am rejected or nobody likes me?

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What if is an opening thought / statement that if used with the wrong tonality or negative ending can keep us stuck.

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Our house has been on the market since Boxing Day. It sold after the first viewing. We hastily went to second view our ‘dream’ property, got in a bidding war and offered more than our safe limit (that was my fault), but the vendor still picked the lower cash buyer. Our sale fell through. The market turned to crap and viewings became like unicorn poo.

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We have tried pretty much everything. A new estate agent, better pictures, a lower price, new furniture, bamboo trees, good luck bells and wind chimes (don’t ask). Our house has never looked and sounded so good.

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Still crickets.

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The back story is that I have been wanting to relocate back to the Lake District …probably since I left when I was 12. It became a plan many years ago. We would relocate when my husband retired and our daughter changed schools. We’ve had a very specific deadline.?

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We have been working towards this plan behind the scenes. Repositioning my business. Getting our finances in order.

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We are?good to go.?The housing market has not been, (for us).

Back in the spring my good friend asked me whether we’d consider renting. I gave her a long list of what if reasons why we couldn’t rent.

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As my frustration built because of the lack of action, she gently asked me again in the summer. I agreed to raise it again with my husband.

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We had so many what ifs:

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• What if we pick a school which is far away from the house that we buy?
• What if, after 6 months renting we have to move again?
• What if our house?never?sells?
• What if we don’t like living in the Lakes?

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I’m sure as you read those questions you were able to come up with solutions to our questions. Once I spotted the what if pattern, I was able to counter those statements too in my journal, (you can access my free journaling template here).

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A great counter question to What if is:

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1. What is the worst that can happen???

Next, you ask yourself,?

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2. Can I cope with that??

3. What would my Plan B, be??

This gives you an escape route.

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Negative What iffing keeps us stuck and prevents us realising our potential, ambitions, goals or dreams.

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Another thing you can do, is ask a What if question using an excitable voice tone plus a positive outcome, e.g.

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• What if by renting, we can buy a house with a local occupancy clause, (they’re often cheaper)?
• What if by vacating our house and renting we enable a quick sale?
• What if, when we settle in the Lakes, it’s everything we’d hoped for?

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Of course it all could turn to s**t but thankfully I don’t have a crystal ball, (because that’s what we’re doing when we are what iffing…gazing into a crystal ball).

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Remembering our reason why during big decisions helps us decide.?

My girl is my reason why. The last 12 months has been tough for her. The thought of leaving her friends behind, starting a new school and living in a new house is a lot. We want to get her settled at?the start of her first GCSE year. She is the most important piece of the jigsaw puzzle.?

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Nice houses to rent in the Lakes are also like unicorn poo. Competition is s**t hot. There have been many viewings for the house we’d like. I’ve written a WIIFM (what’s in it for me (them)) letter and put our best case forward.

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We live in hope.

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What are you undecided about because of negative what ifs? Hit reply. I’d love to hear from you.

Wishing you your best work-life yet.

Estelle Read

Coach, Trainer, Speaker and Best Selling Author at?Beee

P.S. Ready to stop what iffing? Book a free discovery call to explore how here.