STOP ASKING FOR PERMISSION

“Hey siri” I shout to my iPhone, from across the room. “What’s the weather like today?” Siri, in a sophisticated British accent, replies with the weather which happens to be too cold for my liking...which means I’m staying inside. Normally, during this time in quarantine, I try my best to walk my dog around the block (with a mask on) while blasting Travis Scott through my air pods. By now, it’s become a normal routine. However, today, I’m stuck inside. 

Inside. 

We’re all stuck inside, in some way. Some of us are going stir crazy and agonizing over the thought of having to appear on another Zoom call. I, for one, and am sick of it. But, hey, that’s the new normal: Zoom calls and sweatpants. But where’s the silver lining to all of this? There has to be one right? Of course there is! The silver lining is this: during this time, of being stuck at home, we have all the time in the world to pursue our dreams. 

If you didn’t read that in a sarcastic tone, then you read it wrong and I suggest you go back and read it again. More importantly you’re missing the point. Allow me to explain:

A "IF I HAD MORE TIME" dream...

We have all the time, because of social distancing, to pursue our dreams. That's a crazy statement, but it's the logical truth. You don’t necessarily have the excuse anymore of saying “I don’t have time.” When you used that excuse before, it could have been true. You had meetings, you had schoolwork, you had to do this and you had to do that. You had to go here and you had to show your face there. I know all of these things, because I’ve said them myself. 

Also, let me clarify what I mean by dreams. Dreams, in this case, are the things that you wish you could do if you had more time. “If I had more time I would finally read more” or “If I had more time I would finally start writing that book” or “If I had more time I would finally lose weight and start exercising consistently” or “If I had more time I would start that business”. You know what I mean. We all have a “If I had more time..” dream. 

WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING IT?

So now you’re sitting at home, with TIME, because you can’t go anywhere and you’re still not pursuing your dream. Why not? Why is the book you were supposed to read, still on your shelf collecting dust? Why do you still weigh the same? Why is the manuscript of your “book” still blank? Why is the business still just an idea in your head? I’m not trying to come at you, I promise there is a point. 

I write these questions, because I too couldn’t answer them honestly. My “if I had more time” dream would be to build my business, thehidden company, into a consistent revenue generating brand. However, at the time of writing this post, not a single dollar has been earned. Why not? 

WE ARE ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Well there, within that question of “why not”, is the answer to both of our setbacks. WE ARE ASKING FOR PERMISSION. Human beings are creatures of habits. We do things that we are conditioned to do and asking for permission is one of them. 

Think back to the first grade, when you had to ask your teacher the question: “Can I go to the bathroom?” If she said yes, you went. And if she said no...well you sat and waited until the lesson was over. It’s like “can I go to the bathroom” somehow made us question if we should do the thing we want to do. I understand schooling is designed to mold us into factory workers, but I’m not here to argue the limitations of modern day education. 

I’m here to tell you and myself to STOP ASKING FOR PERMISSION. It’s like we’re at the edge of a diving board and we need someone to push us off the ledge in order to jump in. Maybe we do need that push, which can be an accountability partner, but we need to start swimming eventually. 

Asking for permission is directly correlated to our view of our own ability or inability to succeed at a given task.

Asking for permission is directly correlated to our view of our own ability or inability to succeed at a given task. We think we need someone to tell us “oh yeah! You can do that.” or “No, that’s not really worth your time.” We want the teacher telling us whether or not we can go to the bathroom. I remember, when I was a kid, I was convinced that my 1st grade teacher had a magical button which unlocked the bathroom if she said I could go. It was until, one day, I just got up and walked out of class (...true story) in which I found out that button did not exist. 

There’s truth in that, you know? No one has a magical button unlocking your dreams. Only you do. Our success is the result of the limitations we create in our own minds. If you think you’re not successful ask yourself “what is holding me back?”

But who am I to preach this? I’m just a college ki... I mean a recent graduate of Babson College. I’ve come to learn that one most common of limitations is the belief we don’t have enough resources which somehow makes us not qualified for success. THIS IS WRONG THINKING. All that you have is all that you need. For instance, I just got a degree from the best school in the world for entrepreneurship. Therefore, how can I not be enough to build a revenue generating business if I have a degree for it? 

Ask yourself what you have instead of telling yourself what you don’t. Stop being your worst critic and become your biggest cheerleader. Stop trying to determine what you can’t do and do what you can. 

Wow. This is really good advice. I should post this somewhere. 

...Hey Siri, play "STOP TRYING TO BE GOD by Travis Scott"