Stop asking for my feedback. Just stop, now.

I’m not doing it anymore.

No more feedback. Not for you. Or for you.

Stop asking me.

The requests are multiplying like a virus. We seem to be in the midst of a Feedback Epidemic. Everyone wants it, but it’s increasingly clear that no one is really listening to it.

Why don’t you actually talk to and manage your people, instead of asking me to do it? What do I know about your people? That grumpy man from the call centre might have just lost his treasured pet. That woman who fixed my car might have had to deal with my anxiety at the size of the bill.

My feedback is irrelevant.

I don’t want to rate them on a scale of 1-10. I certainly don’t want to rate them three times on four different scales of 1-10.

It is good that your automated feedback system is encouraging: “You’re almost finish”… ?“You are 68% of the way through.” But why am I doing this in the first place?

Get it the old fashioned way: research.

“It drives allegiance.”

One theory is that it makes me feel greater allegiance to your brand. You are asking me to think about it. You are asking me for advice. That’s showing me respect, right? The old adage is that if you want to make a friend for life, ask someone to do you a favour.

It doesn’t work like on an industrial scale. You sold me a bagel. I’ll come back if it was a good bagel. I’m not going to give you feedback on my bagel experience.

“I can then offer testimonials.”

My ‘feedback’ is really you asking me to write some marketing material for you, right? What are you going to do with my feedback? Put it on your website? Will you try to package it into a ‘referral’? Two-thirds of middle-aged men in London believe that this shaving cream is the smoothest shaving cream.

My sense is that we are all starting to see through this stuff. Do we still believe them? Does anyone base their holidays around TripAdvisor recommendations these days?

“It helps deal with dissatisfaction.”

I’ve also seen the argument that feedback request help you get ahead of the unhappy customers and engage with them, before they leave, or leave a bad review.

Again, I wonder how true this is. If I were to raise a serious concern with most of the dozens of feedback requests I am sent every week, is that the most efficient way to deal with a sub-par product or service? Is that what I will choose to do? And if so, will I likely change my behaviour when they show sympathy? It doesn’t feel like that is the equation that you are offering me.

Here’s my deal:

Enough feedback. Here’s what you should do instead:

• Manage your own people
• Focus on providing a good customer experience – you know what that is
• Stop asking me how happy I am to pay you money
• Pay for your research
• Talk to me when I need you, not when you need me
• If you want to know how I feel add an ‘unsubscribe’ button

Thanks. I feel better already.

I think I’ll get a bagel.