Stop Accepting Your Own Bad Meeting Behavior

Disclaimer: This article was originally published on Forbes. You can read the original article here.

People have some nerve.

Let me explain.

I was recently with a group of senior leaders at a Fortune 100 firm. We were discussing the skills necessary to increase influence in meetings. Throughout the conversation, questions kept arising, such as:

“How do I recapture someone’s attention when they’re distracted on their device?”

“How can I discourage someone from multitasking on their laptop while I speak?”

“How can I convey to meeting attendees the importance of arriving on time?”

These questions are nothing new—my team and I have heard them before. Yet they hit differently this time. I wondered, “Why do so many professionals continually show poor meeting etiquette? Why are they na?ve enough to believe it won’t impact the way others perceive them?”

How Meetings Build—Or Destroy—Your Reputation

Well, one answer is: We quietly judge these behaviors in others, but then we excuse those same behaviors in ourselves. It is not okay. As professionals, we know better.

Consider your childhood for a moment. If someone of authority, such as a parent or teacher, spoke to you, you listened. If you didn’t pay attention or appeared distracted, someone likely corrected your behavior.

We knew to pay attention as children. Why do we exempt ourselves as adults? Is it because we don’t receive immediate corrective feedback, or do we think it won’t affect how others perceive us?

Our reputation is built on small, low-stakes encounters. People form their opinion of who we are based on the behavior we demonstrate when we think it doesn’t matter. Our peers put much less stock in how we shine during polished and prepared presentations. Instead, they determine who we are based on how we behave everywhere else: in hallway chats, over phone calls, in email responses and in meetings.

No doubt you believe that meetings could be more productive. You probably think sometimes there are meetings for the sake of meeting. I get it. We’ve all been there.?

3 Tips To Make A Good Impression At Your Next Meeting

1. Arrive on time.

Tardiness is endemic in the workplace. People are sometimes overbooked, rushing between back-to-back meetings. In cases like these, tardiness cannot be avoided, but ideally, this is the exception, not the rule.

Arriving late is disrespectful because it distracts from the conversation and steals focus. Arrive late once or twice and you may be forgiven. Do it more often and your reputation will pay.

So manage your calendar. Block time for breaks, phone calls, emails and texts. Arrive a few minutes before the meeting starts, not when it is set to begin. Prepare to engage in the conversation as soon as the meeting begins.

If you want to earn trust, arrive at meetings on time.

2. Check your posture.

Your body language communicates plenty without you ever saying a word. Don’t underestimate the message your posture sends to those observing you. Others will see how you sit and then speculate about your mood or thoughts.

Pay attention to how you sit in every virtual and in-person meeting. To remove the risk of misperceptions, put your feet flat on the floor. Unclasp your hands or arms and rest them comfortably on the table in front of you. Sit up in your chair and focus your eyes on those speaking.

If you want to appear engaged and invested, let your body language show it. (I've written about the physical dimension of executive presence on my own blog.)

3. Silence your devices.

Multitasking during meetings is disrespectful and frustrates everyone. During in-person meetings, the whole room can see when your laptop is open or when you have your phone in hand. Virtually, everyone knows when your camera is off, and they assume you are focused on something else behind the blank screen. You fool no one. We know when other people are distracted by their devices, but we assume nobody will notice when we are.

When attending a meeting, leave your laptop behind. Put your phone in airplane mode and give your undivided attention to those in the room. Your positive participation will add value to the discussion.

If you want to show respect, be respectful by silencing your devices.

Final Thoughts

We often judge others for the same behavior we excuse in ourselves. However, our reputation is not exempt from workplace rules of engagement. Our personal brand and reputation are built on the moments we think don’t matter, when we believe that no one is paying attention.

If you want to earn respect, trust and engagement, be the first to give it.