STOP IT: 12 Horrendous Time Wasting Behaviors to Eradicate From Meetings (Beyond Basics) Part I: 1-6

Dysfunctional meetings are epidemic at many organizations today.? We complain about them, we dread attending them, and cartoons and movie scenes caricature their absurdity.? We appear resigned to the notion that meetings, by nature, are terrible. It has gotten so bad that I think some people even count on meetings as a time to rest, be brain-dead and take a break from the stress and demands of the workday. But I say STOP IT! and demand something better from—and for—yourself and others.? Meetings can be fruitful and energizing.? Here is a list of 12 behaviors that block that potential.? As you know with the Stop It! movement, we like to call out bad behavior and name it—so it has nowhere left to hide.

1) Posturing and Bloviating

There’s no need to pontificate just to make sure people think we are smart.? We might succeed in convincing everyone of our brilliance, but we will definitely convince them that we are slaves to our need for admiration.? This compromises our credibility.? Posturing at meetings is a huge time-waster.? Although it is important for people to contribute and offer substance, if it is done just to be admired, it is pure ego and purely distasteful.? Think about how obvious it is to you when someone else is posturing.? Trust me, it’s obvious to everyone else when you do it, too.? Solution: Lead by example and be realistic about your own tendencies in this area, if you have them.? Have a conversation and create ground rules around it.? Use a safe word or nerf ball to call it out when it happens. However, be aware that sometimes “posturing” can be falsely appropriated in the service of shutting down opposing points of view. In your conversation with your team, be sure to talk about this, too.

2) Getting Off Point?

Too often the topic of the meeting takes a wrong turn and a discussion starts on something unrelated.? Usually the subject is not relevant to the business on any level.? And even if it is tangentially relevant it is usually not the time to discuss it.? Great leaders keep the team on-point both in and out of meetings.? Solution: Have the meeting leader, designated person or ask the entire group to mercilessly bird-dog when the group or an individual goes off topic.? Use the old standby “Parking Lot” to capture subjects for a future meeting.? It has been my experience that when you start to write things down in the Parking Lot their urgency falls off and they are often crossed off the list almost immediately.

3) Down The Rabbit Hole

This is an extreme version of Getting Off Point.? This happens when a particularly touchy or juicy subject comes up and people are sucked into it.? There is usually a good deal of pent-up emotion or energy around the topic, and that’s why it unravels so fast.? It is like going into a black hole.? Eons will pass in this fruitless exercise until you have forgotten your name and will have a disheveled look about you.? Solution:? Nip it in the bud.? Acknowledge that the subject brings up strong feelings and opinions, but remind everyone what you’re really there to discuss (not that!) and put an end to it as soon as possible.

4) Neediness To Be Heard

People appear to have a need to hear themselves talk and talk. But beneath that is the need to be heard.? While this has probably always been “a thing”, it seems to have reached epic proportions these days.? Is it because we feel increasingly disconnected and lonely in an overcrowded world?? However poignant the deep-down reason for the behavior, the purpose of a meeting isn’t to fulfill personal needs.? And the sad truth is that if you are “needy,” people tend to talk behind your back and avoid you.? It sounds tough I know, but unchecked this only leads to more loneliness, insecurity and dependency.? Solution: Again, be absolutely clear about why you are having a meeting and keep the meeting on point.? In the bigger picture, create space to support and get to know your team members and for individuals within the team to bond.

5) Put Your Fingerprint on It

This one is especially relevant for but not limited to the executives in the room.? Not everything has to have their mark on it.? It is not a requirement of our jobs to “plus” everything with our brilliance. If we have something to add that truly elevates an idea or a project, we should contribute.? But if we just feel the need to leave our mark on it in order to show our dominance or prove our role is indispensable, we should restrain ourselves.? It’s not necessary.? No one will think any less of us for observing and listening (on the contrary, observing and listening tend to earn respect).? Solution: It is important for leaders and all employees to tame the ego in order to avoid this and many other destructive habits.? If you are a leader make sure you create an environment where people are consistently recognized so they do not feel the need to work so hard to get noticed.

6) Non-Value-Added Comments

This of course covers all of the items on this list in general.? But how many times in a meeting does someone offer extraneous, non-contextual remarks that provide no value to the conversation?? Sometimes a class-clown will habitually interject comments meant to be funny (and garner attention) but often just interrupt the flow.? Or perhaps someone has a lead on a potential business partner.? Key information could be shared in ten sentences or less. But instead we get a soliloquy on this lead’s ethnic background, hobbies and a whole bunch of unnecessary information that not only wastes several minutes but also brings down the energy of the entire meeting. The sad thing is that this person can lose credibility even while bringing something important to the table. Solution: Speak only if it adds value. And if you have nothing of value to add to the conversation it is OK to say nothing. As a leader stress this and demonstrate your preference for precision and concision by modeling and rewarding it.

Stay tuned for Part II of this Blog calling out Horrendous Time Wasting Behaviors at Meetings #7-12.

The “Stop It” series of blogs tell it like it is so businesses can improve.? They are inspired by the upcoming book, Stop It:? Eradicating Inane and Insane Business Practices by Michael Denisoff.? They are intended to vividly call out organizational practices--some of them taboo--that diminish productivity and crush the spirits of employees.? Sane and vibrant alternatives are offered for each Inane and Insane pitfall.? Feedback and comments are welcomed.?