Stoking Creativity

Betty’s husband always used the ‘yes, but’ to respond in conversations. It was so bad that she and her friends used to refer to him as the ‘But-ter’, and would laugh as they predicted what his objection would be to Betty’s ideas. She did have great ideas, about the home, about vacations, what car to buy, even how her husband should respond to events at work, but all she ever got from her husband was ‘yes, but’.

It hadn’t always been this way. When they had met in college, he was really positive about her thoughts and ideas and added to them all the time. He was a real ‘yes, and’ kind of guy, and she loved him for it. They managed to do all sort of fun things all the time, with the ideas initiated by her, and amplified by him. She even joked that when they had kids, she would name their first boy And-er-son, hoping he would carry on the ‘yes, and’ tradition of his father. Maybe he could get a job at CNN…

But over time, with life and its disappointments grinding him down, her husband changed from ‘yes, and’ to ‘yes, maybe’ and eventually to ‘yes, but’, seemingly settling into the But-ter persona permanently. Betty looked everywhere for inspiration, and finally found it: she enrolled her husband in some improv exercise classes she found online.

He was initially negative about the idea and started his usual ‘yes, b…’, but she cut him off and lied that she had already paid a lot of money to enroll him in a non-refundable course. He would have to go. He was soon sitting in a circle with other participants doing a ‘yes, and…’ exercise. The moderator gave some instructions and started them off by giving an outrageous suggestion. The person next to her had to repeat the suggestion, and then add to it by saying ‘yes, and …’, and giving an equally imaginative and outrageous suggestion. Each participant had to do the same, adding to the suggestions each time, linking them all together with ‘yes, and…’. Soon they were all convulsed with laughter, but they got the point. Creativity, even if the ideas are ridiculous, begets creativity and a positive attitude towards ideas and suggestions. By encouraging and adding onto them we stimulate everyone in the group. The outrageous is replaced by the sublime, and some real solutions to real problems result. Otherwise, everyone holds back on their ideas in fear of the But-ter. He suddenly reminded a tongue-twister from his childhood:

Betty Botter bought a bit of butter. "But," she said, "the butter's bitter. If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter. But, a bit of better butter will make my batter better." So, she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter.

He wouldn’t be a bitter or better But-ter, he resolved to be an And-er.