Stoic Warrior to Tranquil White Knight
Sheila Mikulin Psychologist / Integral Professional Coach
Executive Performance Coach - I help high-achieving leaders identify and develop critical and strategic skills to drive peak performance, innovation, and growth through uniquely-tailored coaching programs.
Here is a case study of a client.? You will be able to feel how this topic is deeply important to him and the challenge he has had in working with it.
?Coaching Topic:
What:? To be confident in the way in which I make hard choices for structuring my day while being calm amid the rapids.
Why:??
?????????Every task is a fire drill
?????????No longer have the energy to work long hours
?????????My current way of doing things is not sustainable
?????????My health is suffering
?????????I need to find a way to be in the chaos but resting in the eddy
?????????Bigger picture goal of consulting company – need space/energy to plan
?????????You know logistically external cannot change – how to change the internal?
Current Way of Operating in His Topic:
Way of the Stoic Warrior
Loyalty and self-sacrifice are the Warrior’s great virtues, along with a natural ability to get things done.
Your Warrior is a hard worker.? You are deeply committed to your profession and serving your clients.? You are reliable and respected.
You enjoy putting out fires.? It is challenging yet quite exhilarating.? It is what you have always done.
You have great pride in taking on challenges that are unconventional and love solving complex – even catastrophic – problems that others cannot.
It is rewarding to see the look in your clients’ eyes when you have saved the day.? This has a significant impact on their companies remaining intact and growing.
You have provided well for your family - it has never been a burden to you.
Seeing:
Going:
?????????You attend to as many things as you can throughout the day.
?????????You are constantly thinking about “what is next.”?
?????????Endless distractions of thinking about so many tasks at one time.
Checking:
?????????You meet all of the court deadlines
?????????You say, “OK, at least that is done.”
?????????Your Client is happy – relieved that it turned out better than they thought it would.
?How this has served you:
??????????You have been very successful in your career.?
?????????You feel pride that you are specialized in something not many people are.
?????????You are a unique minority in your field.
?????????And you have taken care of your family through your lucrative hard work.
?????????You get a lot done!
How this limits you:
??????????You know that this is not sustainable.
?????????You work long hours and weekends.
?????????You do not sleep well.
?????????Burnout is already present.
?????????You do love your job but the overwhelming amount of work is dramatically impacting your health AND your fulfillment at work.
?????????You have plans for your consulting company, but no time or energy to direct towards it.
?????????You have no real option for delegation at this point.
New Way of Being That We Worked Towards:
The Way of The Tranquil White Knight
He moves in harmony AND control.? He is precise yet flowing and calm.?
All of his senses are attuned, and he truly understands that he will accomplish all he needs to with no anxiety.
He is attuned to his productive rhythm.? He sees when his old patterns come up and quickly adjusts utilizing all of the techniques he has embodied.
He allows many perspectives to be present and available at any moment.?
He feels his essence ebb and flow through the day and values all that entails.?
We designed these Objectives to build his capacities to embody his new way:
Developmental Objectives:
?1.???You identify and challenge irrational or negative thought patterns that contribute to stress and anxiety during chaotic situations.
?2.???You Practice accepting the reality of the present moment without resistance and shift your perspective to view your tasks as challenges that you welcome.
?3.???You have more clarity and have learned how to bring quiet and calm to yourself amid the chaos - amid the rapids, you are an eddy.
By building "muscles" through practices focusing on these objectives, he accomplished his goal for his topic.
He said it had been one of the best experiences of his career.
This method elegantly breaks down steps and practices to get one where they want to be.? They include the Current Way and Transcend into the New Way.
All of the good stuff of the Current Way is not lost.? It just expands.
Let's talk about your own topics that you might be engaged with now and seem to lack the ability to sustain the change you desire.
?~ Sheila
?