Stoic Tips to Manage Your Micromanager

Do you have a LEO micromanager in your life? Are they stressing you out? We've all been there, and it sucks. Luckily the Stoics and I have your back and can give you some good tips on how to handle the situation.??

STEP #1- You need to determine if you are being micromanaged. There is a simple test for this.?

Self Assessment Questions- Do you often make mistakes and not understand how to do your job? Is your favorite advice, "Fake it till you make it"? Are you constantly being written up and disciplined for violating well-defined policies? Is it hard for you to follow basic instructions? Do you feel like an imposter and constantly worry about your subordinates showing you up? Do you often ask your boss for help and then argue with the answer they give you?

If you answered "yes" to most of the questions above, then you aren't being micromanaged. You need close supervision and you should appreciate it. They are doing their job and helping you. Many times people complain about micromanagement when they are actually getting the supervision that they desperately need. Make sure to be objective when viewing yourself and your situation.?

With that said, if you are competent and know what you are doing and are still constantly needlessly being told what to do and second-guessed, then chances are that you work for a micromanager.? Proceed to STEP#2

STEP #2 - You should acknowledge the underlying reasons for micromanagement. It's not about you,? it's about them. Refrain from taking it personally and getting emotional, as that won't help you make sound decisions. Typically, micromanagers suffer from a lack of confidence in their skills, job security, and understanding their assigned roles, especially when they are newly promoted or have advanced too quickly. As they gain experience and feel more secure in their position, many micromanagers can outgrow this annoying behavior. Now, let's get into some Stoic strategies to tackle this situation.

Tip #1- Pity Them?

So other people hurt me? That's their problem. Their character and actions are not mine.

?— Marcus Aurelius

These individuals are demonstrating poor leadership. Their actions stem from weakness, insecurity, and fear, which is a disgraceful way to lead. Rest assured that their superiors are observing their behavior and the way they treat their subordinates. By acting this way, they're damaging their own careers and causing themselves harm. When you encounter someone who's unwittingly self-destructive, show them empathy and pity instead of contempt.

Tip #2 - Realize That It Doesn’t? Actually Hurt You?

“Who then is invincible? The one who cannot be upset by anything outside their reasoned choice.” — Epictetus

Micromanagement is insulting and annoying more than anything. You go to work and get paid to be there. Sure it would be nice to be trusted and have agency in your own job, but you aren't actually being hurt. Keep this in mind, with practice you even have the choice not to feel insulted or annoyed.?

Tip #3 Expect It?

“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly.”?

— Marcus Aurelius

The quote above was written by the most powerful man in the world at the time. The Emperor of Rome and was worshiped as a living God at the time. Yet he was aware that people would be hard to deal with and reminded himself of it constantly. The truth is very few people make it through life without working for a micromanager or two. It's life, you aren't dealing with some special hardship. You should expect it to happen, and take it as part of being alive.?

Tip #4 ? It is Such A Small Thing (Consider the Scope)?

“Think of substance in its entirety, of which you have the smallest of shares; and of time in its entirety, of which a brief and momentary span has been assigned to you; and of the works of destiny, and how very small is your part in them.”

— Marcus Aurelius

How small is this situation compared to your entire life? How many other people also have overbearing bosses and are dealing with them right now at this very moment? How many people have ever worked for micromanagers during the course of history? How big of a deal is this really when compared to the rest of your life and all your other relationships?? IT IS SOOO SMALL AND PETTY.?

Tip #5 It Will Be Over Soon?

“The universe is transformation, life is opinion.”

?— Marcus Aurelius

The Stoics constantly talked about the nature of life and change. They taught us how to accept change and how to cope with it. When dealing with a micromanager, change is very good news. There is a 100% chance that things will change.?

Tip #6 Don’t Seek Revenge

The best way to avenge yourself is to not be like that. — Marcus Aurelius

Don’t try to get them back or make them miserable. Your scheming and anger will just hurt you in the end. The Stoics believe that harboring anger usually causes you more inner turmoil and stress than whatever harm the person did to you in the first place. Let it go, be better than that.?

TIPS PART 2 - The initial six recommendations focused on building resilience and maintaining composure in the face of micromanagement. The upcoming tips will offer actionable guidance on tactfully discouraging excessive micromanagement. Our aim is not to cause harm or be vindictive, but to help them break free from an unproductive behavior pattern and create a more effective working environment.

Tip #7 Lean Into It?

Ok, you want to micromanage? Let's do this! Instead of agreeing to do what they ask in a passive-aggressive way or arguing, do it gladly and involve them to a ridiculous extent. Make it absurd. Ask for granular details in regard to every step they want you to take. Take pages and pages of notes, and ask them to repeat key points. Ask how often they want updates and what form of communication they want. Then update them through text, email, courier, written letter phone calls and meetings.? Make them so sick of you and the process of managing your tasks that they will be glad for a break.?

Tip #8 Responsibility?

Usually, they micromanage because they fear the responsibility they have and are nervous. Use this to your advantage. If you are in the position to do so and the situation allows it frame your responses like this WITHOUT DIRECTLY SAYING IT? “ If I do it your way you are 100% responsible, if I am left to do it my way I will take responsibility”. Not only will this get them to back off, but you build your own skill and confidence by taking on responsibilities. Some micromanagers are going to oppose this tactic because they are also turf-guarders.?

Tip #9 Ask The Hard Question?

Micromanagers love to review your performance. Usually, you will have an opportunity to ask a serious question. If this opportunity comes up, ask them straight up “Why don’t you trust me?” Be prepared with many examples of the micromanagement (if they ask why you think that) and say if you trusted me you wouldn't have done X,Y,Z. Give them the opportunity to explain. Keep your issue focused on the lack of trust, and that you believe that you can be trusted.? This will give you much better results than accusing them of being a micromanager.?

Tip #10 Preempt Them?

You know they are going to come stand over your shoulder and give you a million details on the task, so why not go to them and ask them exactly how they want it done? You can go online and find crazy detailed operational planning guides. Turn one into a 100-point checklist. Send it to them and ask how do you want me to address these issues? They will either answer the questions and do the project for you, or they will get frustrated and ask you to be more independent. Either way, you Win!?

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