The Stoic Edge in 30 Days

Day #13: Practice Acceptance

The Stoics had high standards for themselves. They understood that human nature is full of foibles, and that it is easy to get off track. The four virtues -- Justice, Wisdom, Temperance, and Courage -- are guideposts for when we get off course, helping to focus us on the most important things. But the interesting thing about Stoic virtue is that it is focused internally: it's about what YOU do and don't do. It's not about other people. In fact, the Stoics preached being understanding of the flaws of others. As Marcus Aurelius wrote,

"Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself.”

There is great wisdom in this approach to life, for it puts the focus of your reactions on yourself rather than those around you. If someone is bothering you, acting rudely, or being offensive, let them. It's their problem. It only becomes yours if you let it.

Admittedly, it's not easy to ignore the frustrations that come with daily life. The key for the Stoics is to remember that we are people too, and thus just as likely to be irritating to others as they are to us! Again Marcus Aurelius:

“Whenever you take offense at someone’s wrongdoing, immediately turn to your own similar failings, such as seeing money as good, or pleasure, or a little fame—whatever form it takes. By thinking on this, you’ll quickly forget your anger, considering also what compels them—for what else could they do?"

For they are human! Like you. So take a breath and practice acceptance.