Stinkin’ Thinkin’: All or Nothing Patterns

Thinking traps are these subtle, automatic thoughts that seem insignificant, but over time can really set your mind up for toxicity. Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected to each other. They play off one another and influence each other. Distorted thinking actually INCREASES stress and anxiety. So…..self-awareness really needs to be your friend right now, so you can begin to re-wire thought patterns by training your brain to have healthier thoughts.

All or nothing thinking is a very common “thinking trap”. This form of thinking comes out in an evaluation of your life in extreme terms. For example, Life is either perfect or a disaster. a total success or a total failure. It could also sound like this: “I’ll never find the right job”, “ Things always turn out better for others”, or “ I’ll never find the right person, why try.”.....sound familiar? This is distorted thinking because it leaves no room for grey areas and life is a mixed bag and there is so much grey in the world. This is a problem because these thinking patterns lead to depression and increased anger. This way of thinking actually leads to more unproductivity because of the rigid and unrealistic expectations put on self and others and will keep you stuck in life. It sets you up for failure. So how does one begin to break free from this? Here are a few tips ( AND be on the lookout for my video with more insights and tips this week!):

*Separate self-worth from performance/ “failures

*Replace the word “never & always” with “sometimes” or “this time”

*Scan for the positive or “silver lining”

*Consider all options. It’s not just A or B, what about C, D, E ,F...etc.

*Avoid absolute terms.

Remember just because you think something, doesn’t make it true. You can begin to master your mind, one thought at a time.

Mandy Morris, LPC, EMDR Therapist

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