The Stingy Test - A Must Before Choosing Who To Marry

Why I invented The Stingy Test – Stingy people rarely change – they are likely to remain stingy to you for decades and yes, they will be stingy to your kids too – yes, their own kids!

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Stinginess is dangerous because although many people think that stinginess is only about money, it actually affects everything a stingy person does – they can be stingy with their time, opportunities, advice, ideas, support, solutions, decisions, information and much more.

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In over 25 years of active, relationships coaching, marriage counseling and marriage observation, I have concluded that it is very hard to see a marriage where the man is liberal and the woman is stingy or vice versa, and not see them having very avoidable but yet continuous misunderstandings. The reason is because the traits of being stingy and of being liberal, are traits that are very difficult to shed or shake off. So as harsh as it may seem, I recommend that stingy people marry one another – you see when a man and his wife are stingy, one will always understand the explanation of the other when he or she needs to be stingy and there will be less misunderstandings.

Now to THE STINGY TEST that many of you have been asking me to explain: Here are the ground rules. 1) This test is only recommended for singles who are liberal or who enjoy giving to friends, family and acquaintances in need. 2) You will need to perform the test at least three times to be able to make a conclusion – each test must be done at least three times but must be spaced at weeks or months apart. 3) Don’t show or give away any reactions until you have completed test three.

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The test encourages you to be creative – you decide what and how to test – I only give you the nucleus. You will do the money test. Generally speaking, since you are a liberal person, you always do a lot of giving in the relationship. And let me quickly add that it doesn’t matter who makes the most money. For instance, if you are a man with a great job or a woman with a successful business and you make more money than the person you are engaged to, you will naturally have more to give. So in this case, put yourself in a position where you need a small amount of money that you know the other party can afford and see if they volunteer to help – if they make no effort to say anything to your indirect request for money, they are already failing the first test. To be sure, ask them directly and do not promise to pay back. See how they react. If they load you with explanations of how they wish they could help if not for some things they need to do with their money despite the fact that you have been giving and giving to them – they have failed the test.

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If you are the person in the engagement with the less money, your test would be a little more complicated because the person who you are engaged to might be pretending to be generous and be giving you things here and there because they do not want to lose you but after marriage, they usually switch on the stingy-switch and no matter how successful they become, they remain stingy so you still have to test. In this case, you will do the test by asking them to help your friend or family member who has a real but small need – if they are talk about how they could have helped if not for the projects they are doing, that is your cue. Also, even though you are engaged to someone who makes more money, but you are an independent woman for instance who likes to take care of her own needs, you may not observe that your man is stingy until it becomes too late. So even though you can meet your own needs, ask him for help with specific needs and see how he reacts. If he says, “Common babe, you have a good job, surely you can buy the dinner gown yourself – and you know I have many projects going on", they have failed your test.

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Like I said, stinginess is dangerous because although many people think that stinginess is only about money, it actually affects everything a stingy person does – they can be stingy with their time, opportunities, advice, property they already owned before you met and so on. MANY MARRIAGES SUFFER ENDLESS MISUNDERSTANDINGS WHEN A GIVER IS MARRIED TO A STINGY BECAUSE THE GIVER IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR REASONS TO GIVE WHILE THEY STINGY IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR REASONS NOT TO GIVE – IT CREATES CONSTANT CHAOS BECAUSE STINGY PEOPLE RARELY CHANGE AND GIVERS ALWAYS REMAIN GIVERS.

By the way, I learned the test from Jesus – He said, “Anyone who struggles to release a small amount, will also struggle to give out a big amount”. I recommend THE STINGY TEST.

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