Stimulus vs Response

This week, and certainly on this day, there will be a plethora of motivating quotes of Dr. Martin Luther King’s speeches and quotes shared on social media.?Regardless of who you are, I encourage you to consider aligning your daily actions to your chosen MLK quote.?In 2010, I visited the Loraine Motel in Memphis Tennessee where Dr. King was slain on April 4th?1968.?

It was the summer of 2010.

I stood on the balcony, where by many accounts, Dr. King’s final words were spoken to his friend and popular musician Ben Branch. “I want you to play Mahalia Jackson’s Precious Lord like you never played it before.” Moments later, Dr. King turned towards the hotel room and an assassin’s bullet changed U.S. history.

Mahalia Jackson is my mother’s favorite gospel singer. Incidentally, Precious Lord is one of her favorite songs. Dr. King’s request is a sobering reminder that in the midst of doing extremely important, social justice, culturally responsive, and life-changing work; our soul, spirit, physical, and mental being will become exhausted and needs to be refueled.?The lyrics of the song reflect that reality.

As you seek to be refueled, I encourage you to be steadfast in your virtues, regardless of how others choose to show up.?

Don’t Eat My Cookies! – The Power Lies Between Stimulus and Response

I travel often.?Each flight I look forward to observing people and learning about their experiences.?There’s a story of a white woman who was in the airport buying her favorite cookies. She then boards her flight, situates her bags, takes a seat, and proceeds to eat her cookies that were sitting on the armrest.?She grabbed the first cookie and ate it.?Meanwhile, a young Black man sitting next to her reaches into the bag, takes one of the cookies, and eats it.?They both made eye contact and he give an approving nod with a smile, but she smiled awkwardly in astonishment.?She took another cookie and ate it, and the young man took another.?This went on for about 50 minutes on their short one hour flight.?Each time she ate a cookie, the man ate one.?Finally, one cookie remained in this opened bag, the young man broke it in half, ate his, and smiling agreeably, offered her the next half.?She thought how dare he have such temerity, audacity, and gall!?She ate the half, shook her head in disgust, grabbed her bags, and pushed past him angrily as she walked off of the plane.?She thought to herself, “What a jerk!”?

Later in an Uber, she reached into her bag to get her purse, and to her surprise, the pack of cookies that she bought was sitting there unopened.?It was then that she realized that the young man next to her had bought the same pack of cookies, had placed them on the armrest, and she was eating his cookies all along.

Note: They both had the same frame;?“Someone was eating my cookies without even asking.?One person was wrong and one was right.”?One person showed up as a victim, and the other showed up with a spirit of generosity.?One person showed up feeling cheated; while the other person showed up with a sense of charity.?One person showed up with anger and disappointment; the other showed up with kindness and grace.

We will find ourselves in situations that are challenging, uncomfortable, or unfavorable to us.?Take a moment and think about what the moment means to you and what it means to others experiencing it as well.?Remember that in every situation, our power lies between stimulus and response.?????

This week, I encourage you to take a moment to consider that you are not having a unique experience.?While it may feel this way, there is someone, somewhere having a similar experience.?Don’t allow yourself to be defined by what happens to you, instead, allow your situation and the outcome to be defined by your response to it.?

Radical Empathy Quote:?“Radical empathy is ones willingness to exemplify one’s best virtues even in the midst of ridicule, criticism, and castigation.”