Stillness is Listening
Zuhaib Shaikh
Leadership Coach | Executive Coach | ICF Level 2 Certified | PCC Path | Facilitation | Training | Capacity Development | Design Thinking | Going "Inward"
"Boss. How are you such a good listener?" I asked sincerely.
He did that every time. Without fail. He listened deeply. I felt heard every time I went to him and poured my heart out or rambled some incoherent nonsense to feel better about my choices.
He smiled. "Because I know intimately the anguish of not being heard."
"Ouch! That escalated quickly."
The smile widened. "No, but seriously," he continued. "The truth is, I don't try to listen at all."
"Explain?" I probed.
"Listening isn't an action. Listening is an absence of action."
"So, what you mean is - if I'm trying too hard to listen, or trying to fight the urge to respond or am figuring out the noise in my head while the other person is talking, I'm not listening?"
"Precisely. You do learn fast."
"But that sounds like you need to do something BEFORE you sit down and listen to someone."
"I don't know about that," he paused. "It's about stillness, not noise. If my head is noisy, it is an indicator that I am focused on myself which means that I can't really listen to another. Stillness is a state of being where you accept and make space for the other because you have nothing to gain from the exchange. Ocean waves have a lot to say, my friend. It is the calm, peaceful lakes that truly listen."
"And how do you go about being still?"
"Now that's simple," the smile returned. "Don't act like a lake in a moment. Be a lake and you're always listening."
Fulbright Scholar - Masters in Education (Children, Families and Schools) from UMass Amherst
1 年Beautiful!
Manager ICT PMO
1 年just beautiful!
Conectando personas y conocimientos para cambios sistémicos. Construcción de Comunidad local y global.
1 年Wow! … I have been thinking refining the idea of a “listening loop”, but now that I read you Zuhaib Shaikh , I find this to be real and true too: “Listening isn't an action. Listening is an absence of action." What if listening is a polarity where it is both “absence of action” and “action”? Specially because I think that just as important -or even more- than listening is feeling listened, and in that, how you respond or not respond makes a difference…
Educational and Space Enabler at Global Schools Forum and Ek Nuqta
1 年"Its about stillness, not noise" Wow - that resonated. Makes me curious, how does one experience stillness, and where else apart from listening does stillness as a trait adds value to how we are present and contribute. Thank you for sharing Zuhaib :)