Be Still and ….Listen

By Jacqui Jackson, Chief Executive Officer, Ignite Hope Atlanta

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Like many leaders, I am really great at Action- with a capital “A.” Give me an issue, a policy point, or an immediate need, and watch me throw it into gear. Maybe you are like me, and action feels more comfortable and more fun than being still.

I admit that readily. I embrace doing something to just…being. But the Lord created us as Human Beings, not as Human Doings. Because of my type A- personality, I tend toward the movement, the doing, the kicking butt, and taking names mentality that makes me good at what I do as a child welfare advocate.

I see a need impacting kids in crisis, and I MOVE!

When God needs to get my attention, He has traditionally put me into a medical time-out. Not because He is unfair or prone to punishment, but because it is possible that my tenacity - which is such a boon to me in my work life, is not so great when it rears its ugly head as that which it actually is - stubbornness. “Pig Headedness,” my momma would have said.

She would have been right.

Very often in my academic and professional lives, I would push forward, pray hard, and keep moving with single-minded ferocity, ignoring the creaks, cracks, and lumps that come with hard work.

Instead of taking a beat and assessing how I am, I push forward at all costs. For a person of my age and level of good health, I have had an alarming number of doctors put me on medical bed rest for one reason or another.

This practice honestly bewildered me for quite a while. Why, when I am about the Lord’s work, am I continuously finding myself in hospitals, urgent cares, or ERs - especially during our BUSIEST TIME OF THE YEAR?

Full Disclosure: I have had at least four minor outpatient procedures that came about during the Christmas season. Excellent timing, you might say.

Yet, as I reflect upon it now - maybe not so surprising,

As I reflected with God during the recent Christmas season, a season during which I have historically spent my time in full Go-Mode - managing end-of-year giving, national adoption month, Christmas events, and every single recital, show, tournament, and party that our four kids and their assorted groups could ever enjoy - I did the unusual.

No, I did the previously unthinkable. I started…stopping. Or rather, I should say, I hit pause.

If you haven’t heard of the Pause App? - developed by Wild at Heart author John Eldridge - stop reading this and go find it. Then come back here.

It is a wonderful tool that initially felt deeply uncomfortable to me. But the time had come for a reckoning. I refused to spend another Christmas season barely hanging on or possibly being dropped off at the ER entrance by my entire family…again.?

Possibly another Christmas had been experienced thusly, but no more! In a Bible Study on Covenant, I was challenged about spending time with God alone.

My husband and I are in full-time ministry. I had likely been operating under the misconception that my work was time with God. And that is true…ish.

But just enjoying time alone with my friend Jesus, my Comforter, my Lord. No - that wasn’t a reality in my life for a while. So I started…slowly…oh how slowly. The best advice I was given was to set an alarm for my Pause so I’d know when I was “done.”

This kind tip is important for people like me who take multitasking to an olympic level. For example, on my first day, I did a three-minute “Pause" and true story - I? snuck a peek at the (hardly moving) clock at least five times.

But Jesus loves me anyway.

I am thrilled to share with you that the one five-minute attempt that I began with an obedient, if not a grateful heart, has shifted…and fairly quickly. Even as our kids were home full time over Christmas break, work was non-stop, and the expectations mounted - I began intentionally starting every morning with a Pause, a spiritual shift.

My difficulty focusing on the author of life was replaced by a true excitement to spend time in His presence every day.

Earlier this month,? I received a new level of joy.

As much of America woke to frozen temps and plenty of snow, I began this day watching snow softly fall by our windows. Cuddled under blankets, praying and praising on my own, with a house full of children and their friends - I began my day quietly, slowly, and joyfully.

Later in the day, I took a solo walk while my husband took the kids sledding. This quiet stroll allowed me to listen to the crackling of the ice, the crunch of the snow, and the song of hidden cardinals peeking out from their protected perch hidden deep inside a holly bush.

The shape of the icicle frozen in time and illuminated by dappled sunlight inching through the barren branches took my breath away. I could hardly contain my joy!

Jesus and I walked together, enjoying His creation, marveling at sights and sounds I usually dismiss in my day-to-day rush. I stopped. I paused. I listened.

And He spoke directly to my heart. And I know He will speak directly to you.

How do you find time alone with your Savior?

Please feel free to leave your ideas in the comment section below.

You can reach Jacqui at [email protected].

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