The stigma is you

What does mental health stigma really mean?

I hear and use the word stigma every day and every time I do, I twinge a little bit.

It just doesn’t feel right.

I hear people saying how stigma stops them talking about mental health. How mental health is taboo and how people are afraid of being judged.

In general, stigma is blamed for people’s inability to talk openly about mental health; it’s lack of awareness, education and overall coverage.

It blames something else or someone else for our own actions. It removes accountability and it almost even removes our very own responsibility towards our own mental health.

It’s disempowering.

The very earliest definition of the word was in relation to the marks on Christ’s body as he was crucified.

Over time, those marks have become a sign of disgrace or embarrassment.

It’s our wounds that we are reluctant to talk about.

We might be ashamed of them, embarrassed or they may still hurt. Whatever it is, we’re scared of talking about our marks, because they have caused us pain.

My wound was the gaping whole in my chest that was left when I shut down my first business.

After three years of hard work, beating myself up and letting my startup consume my identity; when it was gone I had a deep wound which hurt.

I didn’t really open about the failure of my business at first. When I did talk about it, I pitched it, spun it and sold it into a “success”. I never ever let on how much it’s demise had hurt me, my heart had been broken, but I told nobody.

It took me a long time to even acknowledge that wound and the many marks I carry; from childhood, previous relationships and from day to day life.

It was me not talking about my wounds, because I was scared of showing my vulnerable-human side and scared of what dressing those wounds would mean for my life.

It was me who wasn’t talking about my mental health, I can’t blame the stigma.

We each carry the stigma of mental health, as we each bear our own scars.

Our scars and marks are so diverse, we all know what they are and as you read, no doubt something springs to mind for you.

Some can be deep and painful; like heartbreak or the loss of a loved one.

Others can be blemishes or marks that left to build up will hurt over time, like an unfulfilling job or an unhappy relationship.

It’s a little sad, but it’s subtly beautiful too. All this means, is that we are all just human and in fact, it’s our scars that define us and make us strong.

Yet, if they remain unsaid, then our own stigma can hurt us and those around us.

We all have wounds and can learn to be proud of them. They make up our identity and they’re what make you, you.

There is no mental health stigma, there’s just you.

James x