Stigma & Coaching?? Any connection?
Paul Devassy,
Leadership & Change-management Coach, Trainer, Motivational Speaker, Risk evangelist
Disclaimer: Normally, disclaimers are put at the end, but I decided to give readers the freedom of exercising their choice. I AM A COACH, so I am very interested in people becoming more engaged, as that translates to financial gains for the coaching fraternity. So, if I still manage to hold your attention, thank you, & please read on.
How did I make this wild connection between stigma & coaching? During an informal interaction with some learned & wise individuals, they opined that coaching was a great process. However, they believed that none of them required it in the past, nor would they need it in the future. For me, the subliminal message I received was that the process was good for people with some shortcoming of sorts. I couldn’t respond immediately, but the thought irked me, so I decided to dive deeper. Hence the writeup.
While researching the word "stigma," I stumbled upon some rather interesting information. Stigma comes from the Greek word στ?γμα, meaning 'mark,' which is related to the word στ?ζειν, meaning to tattoo, prick, or puncture. In Latin, it became "instigare," meaning 'to urge.' Therefore, stigma also leads to action, specifically discrimination against the stigmatised person. To discriminate is to make adverse distinctions regarding the stigmatised & to create distinctions prejudicial to people different from oneself (in terms of race, colour, or sanity). This creates a vicious circle where discrimination leads to prejudice, prejudice to stigma, & stigma to discrimination. I realized that there were underlying thoughts clouding people’s perceptions, leading them to shy away from seeking coaching services.
I will be perceived as weak – In today’s hyper-competitive world, being perceived as weak can be a death knell. Interestingly, the perception of weakness is often shaped by societal, cultural, & individual psychological environments. In such competitive settings, asking for help is seen as equivalent to holding up a placard that says, “I AM WEAK.” Gender plays a significant role in reinforcing this perception, emphasizing self-reliance & discouraging vulnerability. If the person also plays roles like protector & provider, this perception is even more pronounced. Fortunately, this view is evolving, though change is slow.
Will I be judged? In antagonistic environments, seeking coaching can be judged as a sign of weakness, incompetence, or even unfitness for leadership. In organizations where machismo & aggressiveness are encouraged, choosing coaching could be seen as a sign of inadequacy, potentially leading to a loss of face. This fear of judgment makes coaching a forbidden zone for many.
Coaching is for underperformers In a competitive world, no one wants to be seen as an underperformer. The "performer" template can feel very restrictive for most people, leading to the view that coaching is for underperforming leaders. This misconception creates a stigma around seeking support. The organizational environment can also act as a massive barrier to coaching. A top-down approach is needed, with constant messaging at multiple levels that coaching is not just for fixing problems.
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Myth of self-sufficiency – In organizational cultures that stress incorrect constructs of independence & self-reliance, seeking coaching can carry a stigma. Seeking external help is seen as a sign that the individual isn’t cut out for the job. No person is a perfect fit for all roles at all times, but urban legends propagate these myths. As a result, people who seek coaching are looked down upon.
So, are we still stuck in a phase where those seeking coaching are slandered? I can say with confidence that this perception is slowly but surely changing.
However, the rate of change depends on the organisational environment & the individual’s personal goals in the coaching process.
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Thanks for sharing Paul. Insightful! Maybe a shift in perspective that a Coach is not some one to help, guide or mentor but a thought partner and a 100% safe space, should help.
Life Empowerment Coach who partners with individuals to reframe beliefs, rewire thinking and build resilience that enables them to lead a fulfilling life driven by empowerment and transformation.
1 个月Profound, insightful! Paul Devassy, your post is a much needed wake up call to create awareness about coaching. The stigma lies in the conditioning, upbringing and being told not to be vulnerable as people will talk about you behind your back. This is a topic which is like a sea, vast and deep and so much to talk and share. Why don't we as it's been a while! i can understand that life has been happening, but that musn't be a barrier to connect with another human. Looking forward to talking.
ICF ACC Life Coach | Thought Partner for Millennials to achieve professional and personal transformation
1 个月This is insightful, Paul. Many still view coaching as something to address shortcomings or professional gaps, much like therapy was once seen as only for those with mental health challenges. But just as therapy has evolved into a widely accepted and essential tool for well-being, the perception of coaching is also shifting—gradually !! Coaching, often associated with senior management or CXO-level individuals, is actually valuable for everyone, regardless of their level of seniority. It’s a powerful process that enhances self-awareness, fosters growth, and is truly seniority-agnostic. As more people experience its benefits, I believe we’ll see it become a critical resource for professionals at all stages of their careers.
ICF life coach | Thought Partner for Millennials to achieve professional and personal transformation
1 个月Traditionally, we’ve been conditioned to seek guidance from mentors or experts who tell us what to do and how to do it correctly. However, we rarely consider creating a space for open discussions and the exchange of perspectives, when the other person isn't necessarily an expert in that particular field. Coaching offers exactly that kind of space, and it's important that more people recognize its value.
Psycho-Oncological Cancer Coach. Empowering Women diagnosed with Cancer!
1 个月Paul the post was a very interesting read- as you mentioned rightly people are bound by the stigma that coaching is only for the under performers and those who are weak. I truly wish that through these powerful posts you are able to change that perception and belief that one has about these professions! A very very interesting post breaking the taboo around what coaching can offer..