STFU #43 - The hidden Mr Hyde and the ‘cursed tiger’ in you - Founder Moods in Startups

Dr Jekyll held himself to strict moral standards publicly but indulged in unstated vices while being himself. Since he felt shameful showing his dark side, he?found a way to transform himself and thereby indulge his vices without fear of detection. So he made a magic ‘serum’, which helped Jekyll transform his body into Mr. Edward Hyde - an evil, self-indulgent young man, who was?uncaring to anyone but himself.?

Every time Dr Jekyll wanted to indulge in a vice, he would drink a potion of the magic serum, transform into Mr Hyde, and go on with his dark self without bothered about anyone else.?

This carried on for a long time.?As time went by, Hyde grew in power. After taking the potion repeatedly, he no longer relied upon it to unleash his inner demon, i.e., his alter ego. He was more frequently in Hyde mode than in Jekyll mode. So much so that Jekyll had to now have the magic potion to remain his real self and not stay in ‘Hyde’ mode!

In a tough battle between Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Jekyll is trapped inside Mr Hyde and has to eventually kill himself to get rid of the evil inside him!

The 'cursed' tiger

There was a king who could not have a child. One day, a tantric told him if he caught a pair of tigers who were in love, and on a full moon night, killed one tiger and drank his blood, the king could have a child. The king did everything he was told, but when he killed one tiger, the surviving mate cursed him. The curse transformed the king into a tiger each full moon night and he hunted men to kill. The curse also entailed that anybody who killed the king when he was in the tiger's form would in turn get cursed and so the curse would carry on forever.?

This was the original story written on the walls in Sanskrit, in Junoon (1992), which Vikram (Rahul Roy) mocked and ignored, initially. But in?a turn of events, the curse passed on to Vikram as the spirit of the tiger entered Vikram’s body. During the day, Vikram was a normal nice sweet human being. But every full moon night, he would turn into a tiger and hunt for humans.?

He started killing a lot of people around him and even tried to kill his lover (and her lover). After a few victims, people found out that the tiger killing people was actually Vikram in his ‘cursed’ version who was getting out of control.?Eventually, the protagonist became the antagonist, and had to be killed to ensure a happy ending for everyone!?

‘Full moon night’ or the ‘magic serum’

Whether you watch Junoon or the recent Bhediya, the theme is similar - an old ‘curse’ bites you, and the ‘regular’ you transforms into someone who is not liked by those around him/her.?

Some of us might even relate to the ‘Hot buttons’ in our personal lives - most spouses would call their other halves a? “Bhediya” or “Chudail” who gets triggered by their ‘Junoon’ which they later attributed to a curse, when they say, ‘I dont know what happened to me!’

But in the startup world, many forms of 'curses' can bite you.?

Business Performance pressure. Limited Funds. Working Capital. Higher losses. Fear of Losing everything.?

All these make us more insecure, more of a micro-manager, more of a control freak, with fringe benefits of ‘mood swings’.?

If you notice, The ‘full moon night’ is usually the month-end for the Team Leader, who turns into a ‘cursed’ tiger, looking for victims and attacking them. And in our quest to fight, the hero leader might just transform into the villain, getting ‘cursed’ and ‘cussed’ at the same time!

On the other hand, some of us have to drink the ‘ditch your conscience’ serum and be the bad cop, being tough on our team, and giving feedback that might be mean but is probably clearer. We become ‘Mr Hyde’ on purpose. It is just that sometimes, Hyde takes over and we forget that there was a Dr Jekyll inside us at some point in time

While every startup might not be a horror Fantasy movie, it does show that 2 faces of any character have larger implications on the plot, which we should first acknowledge and then address.?What is interesting is that the temperament of the founders is usually undermined by the founders themselves. Not just founders but the leaders of the teams.?

In your startup, have you noticed that your mood starts impacting others? Apparently, the leader’s mood is quite contagious, spreading quickly throughout the team. People ‘catch’ feelings from one another “When you're a leader, there's no button to turn off the broadcast feature on your feelings.” (also called primal leadership*)

So in a way you are not just being the cursed tiger or Mr Hyde yourself - you are probably passing on the curse to other leaders as well in your team!

How do you solve it?

Firstly, as Master Oogway said in Kung-fu Panda, you have to let go of the illusion of control. As a start-up-er, you would have realized by now that you cannot control every outcome. What you can control, however, is the energy in you, and how you channelize it and control yourself.

Secondly, Actor Leanardo DiCaprio probably read these stories when he said, “Every next level of your life will require a different you.”

A different you. Maybe not a tiger. Maybe not a Mr Hyde.

Whether it is a curse that is passed on to you or a magic serum you drink, the ‘tiger’ in you might not be a face people around you will like.

So let go of the illusion of control and be a different you. Keep the magic serum in controlled use to ensure you dont lose the Dr Jekyll inside you. And break the curse with you to avoid passing it on to other ‘tigers’ in your team.

At True Elements, we see Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde frequently. In some cases, maybe Sreejith Moolayil and I are the Jekyll and Hyde playing respective roles between the two of us. But every full moon (month end), evil tigers are hunting around.

My team is usually worried whenever I am on leave during the month-end, and my temperament is a topic of satire. Thankfully, it is not the full moon night for me today, hence, this is a nicer version of the same story here.?

Summary

As social media is full of successes and hits of 2023, as people summarize their learnings for the year and claim it to be one of their best, it is ok if you aren’t posting anything. You might feel as if you are probably the only one who doesn't have too many successes - the unlucky you as you lost a couple of wars last year.?

Look back and think of what you have lost, what you missed - and realize that you start again - and you win again. Sometimes you fail before you begin, and sometimes you lose before you win.

For each of you who has had multiple failures, and has seen disappointments, as you turn the chapter to the new year, maybe we should pickup what Bryan Adams suggests to us in his latest single - this one song is probably one of the best ones to start the new year! (Spare 2 mins on hearing it?and you will know what 2024 is going to be like!)

Sometimes you fail before you begin. Sometimes you lose before you win.

If you try to run before you crawl

As sure as hell, you're gonna fall

So take your time, to breathe again

Just let it out, and let it in...

Your life can be, a merry go

Round and round, before you know

You're back to where you start again

So let it out, and let it in...

You gotta play, play your hand, or die where you stand

Sometimes you fail before you begin

Sometimes you lose before you win

For those of you who have failed, who have lost, STFU!

For the tiger in you, STFU 2024!

References:?Bryan Adams Lyrics,?Jekyll and Mr Hyde,?Junoon (1992 Film)?|?Image:??Jekyll Hyde,?Junoon Tiger

*Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence?(November December Edition HBR 23)