"From Clarity to Action: The Role of Coaching in Making Conscious Choices and Achieving Goals”

In coaching, I often come across individuals who express anxiety, general loss of control, and low self-esteem. On probing further, one uncovers a variety of factors contributing– high activity and task orientation mindset, chasing too many goals all at once, baggage of past failures in the head, being an inherent people pleaser, etc. The fact that they are having a conversation with a coach is a positive sign – a sign of wanting to get over their anxiety, develop a higher self-worth, and take back control of their lives. However, the clutter of noises in their head, the past experiences clouded by failures and successes, as well as their perceived sense of expectations that others have of them, often continue to derail them.

While there could be different ways to coach such individuals, it is helpful to keep in mind the big picture outcomes - rekindling a sense of self-confidence, bringing clarity of goals and feeling of empowerment.

I generally approach the start of such partnerships by helping such individuals reconnect with their greatness - ?who they truly are, and ?in the process, encourage them to recognize their inherent strengths, skills and the values they cherish. With the strengths and values clarified, I anchor them to draft and articulate the life goals they desire. I urge them to view their life goals keeping in mind their Strengths and Values, and also analyze what they would need to leverage more/less of, with respect to strengths and values. This can be a very refreshing realization for many! Finally, I partner with them to start making Conscious choices for things important to them, for them to live their desired self. This approach, called DAC, is detailed below:

1.??????D- Deep Discovery: While coaching individuals with low self-esteem or those who feel a general loss of control , I find it helpful, right at the beginning, to hold conversations and exercises that help them to reconnect with their strengths, reviewing ?their past accomplishments and inviting them to call out what they value most in life. The client is encouraged to dig from their past, stories of achievement and success, without judging how big or small they were. The stories they share could range from goals in academics, to college life, relationships, social interactions or career.?With the help of these stories, we create conversations that enables the client to distill their strengths, unique know-how, and most importantly, their deep held values. Supplementing this exercise with a psychometric tools like Hogan, or an online assessment like character strengths ?can be very helpful in validating and clarify their thoughts. This first step is the process of Deep-Discovery.

2.??????A- Aspirations: As the next step, the client is encouraged to paint their life aspirations- what kind of a job, role, lifestyle, social life, health and personal choices they feel is best for themselves – creating milestones of 12-24-36 months. It is important to keep the identified Values at the forefront of this reflection, and keep questioning the aspirations in context of the Values. This process involves a mix of visualization and reflective conversations. As the aspirations undergo multiple rounds of iterations, the client starts to also assess the values that they truly desire vs those they would need to let go of. This can be a moment of great realization to know that the values that one held close to heart for many years, may not be so relevant after-all! Likewise, the client is also encouraged to evaluate their strengths critically, in context of the aspired life, to arrive at what may need to be unlearned, learned or relearned.

3.???????C- Conscious Choices: This is the final phase in such coaching partnerships where the client, armed with the strengths and values, as well as clarified aspirations, is now invited to make intentional choices regarding what pieces of their life they really want to focus on Vs let go of. They start to make these choices around things such as the daily routine they have to follow, diet they need to adopt, words they should use with self and others, career choices, work-life balance decisions, ?drawing personal boundaries at work and home, or when to say a Yes or a No. This is the stage where the progress starts to take shape and becomes tangible for the client. Every small choice made is progress and offers feeling of immense empowerment and joy.

There is a famous quote by Albert Einstein which says, “Life is like riding a bicycle. In order to keep your balance you must keep moving." There will always be time when we feel vulnerable, are filled with self-doubt, and reach the ebb of our confidence. This quote from Albert Einstein is a powerful reminder that come what may, it is important to keep moving. Easier said than done, but what I have realised through my coaching conversations is that when we have our Strengths and Values as the vehicle, our Aspirations as the fuel, and our conscious choices as the compass, the movement automatically becomes more delightful.

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This blog has been featured in the ICF Mumbai Chapter website , as part of the International Coaching Week #icw2023 celebrations.

https://www.icfmumbai.com/from-clarity-to-action-the-role-of-coaching-in-making-conscious-choices-and-achieving-goals