Stepping Out of your Comfort Zone

Something scary?  Take the risk. There’s a lesson to be learned on the other side …

Call them offers, dares, opportunities or challenges – we are presented with them daily.  Chances are, if it takes you more than a minute to make the decision whether to accept the offer, then it is something that scares you and you need more time to evaluate the situation.  You have two choices.  Accept it or decline it.  Play it safe or take the chance.

When presented with an opportunity, we spend a good amount of time thinking about the pros and cons and asking our co-workers, friends and family what they would do.  The typical response is “go with your gut”, but of course, if I knew exactly what my gut was telling me, I wouldn’t have to ask for your advice.

We operate in our comfort zone most of our life.  We find a comfortable job where you get to the level of knowing more than most others, so why leave?  You find a good trainer at the gym and go through your routine without getting hurt and you’re good to go.  Jump in the car at 6am, run to the gym, head to the office, bang out a few meetings, make a difference (sometimes), head home to feed the kids or go out for dinner and start all over the next day.  This is our comfort zone and one most people are fine with.

It’s time to ask yourself if you are really alright working within that comfort zone for the rest of your life.  Most of you will say no because you think that’s the right answer – but truth is, you won’t do much to change it.  Heck, I even have a tattoo that says “Live Life” and people tell me I don’t practice what I preach.  Some of you will say you want to step out of that comfort zone but are too scared of the uncertainty and whether you can handle what’s to come.  

Based on my experience, to these people, I say … GO FOR IT and you CAN handle it.

Now here’s the tough part – it takes patience.  You won’t go find it, it will find you.  But the important thing is this.  When it finds you, run with it and don’t look back.

I spent most of my life in my comfort zone.  Now at age 46, and after this most recent experience, I look back proud of at least a few times that I took the leap and was surprised by the lessons learned on the other side.  More importantly, I was shocked at what I could personally handle, physically, professionally and emotionally, when deciding to take on some scary life changing decisions.

I’ll start with why I wrote this in the first place.  I’m sitting in my office in China where I have been working for the past 15 months.  If you asked me 15 months ago if I thought I would be working and living in China, I would have looked at you like you had two heads.  I’m American, born and raised in Miami, went to college at University of Hartford in Connecticut.  Summer camp in Georgia as a kid, one younger brother, worked for the same company for 18 years after graduating college, solid group of long-time friends and above average lifestyle.  I’d say I was perfectly fine in my comfort zone.

In December, 2016 I received a call from one of the most successful CEO’s of a public company asking me if I’d be interested in running a brand in China. Within a few days I was on a flight to Shanghai to interview for the role.  Spent less than 24 hours on the ground and 34 hours in the air traveling there and back. Within two days of the interview I received a call from the CEO offering me the job.  A few weeks later I was moving to Shanghai.

This is where I shocked even myself.  In almost no time I had decided to move to a strange city where I didn’t speak the language, had no family or friends and took a job leading a company in the top spot which I had never done before.

In January, 2017 I left Miami on a Sunday, landed in Shanghai on Monday and was at the office on Tuesday.  My new life had begun and I was terrified.

For the next 65 days, I would sob every night, walk for hours, take my anxiety medication and tell myself “I don’t think I can do this.”  My routine was gone.  Everything was foreign.  I wasn’t settled into my permanent apartment yet and many of my (now former) employees spoke Chinese whenever they didn’t want me to know what was going on (which was much of the time).

How do I remember it was exactly 65 days?  Because I wrote down the day when I finally woke up excited to go to work thinking “I can do this”.  That was day 66.

I had two choices during this time.  Quit and go home or stick it out.  If I quit and went home, I would have no job and I would have failed. This wasn’t an option.  I knew I had to stick it out.  If you had asked me on those crying nights if I thought it would get better, I would have said no.  Fortunately, I was wrong.  Not only did it get better, but 15 months later it has been by far the best experience of my life.  It has been rewarding professionally, but even more impressive is how much I have grown personally and emotionally.

Now I know if you put your mind to it and you don’t give up, you can get through anything.  We don’t give our minds and bodies enough credit.  They can literally handle anything.  You just need to get through the pain and know there is an unbelievable reward on the other side.  I can’t tell you how to get through the pain.  Some handle it different from others.  My support group back home was a life saver and the anxiety pills and comfort food helped as well (good thing I finally found a gym to burn off the 20 extra pounds I put on).  But in the end, it was all me.  I did this. And I am a better person today because of it.

Looking back on my life, there were a few times I took the risk – like when I decided to study abroad in college and move to Madrid for six months to live with a family who didn’t speak a word of English.  The reward – I became fluent in Spanish.  Or the time I left an incredible company after 18 years to go join a competitor.  The reward – gaining the experience of working in a private family owned company after working in a large public company.  And the time I jumped out of a plane with the US Army Golden Knights Parachute Team.  The reward – the surprise that my adrenalin was so strong I wasn’t even scared.

When something scary is presented to you, take the opportunity. You’ll have doubt, fear and some really bad days.  But the reward on the other side is well worth the pain and you will come out of it a different person.  One who is stronger, more confident and ready for the next challenge to come along. This is how you #LiveLife.