Stepping On Faith: Part Two

“You can be an Executive Assistant and a business owner.”

That is what Queen of Hearts told Faith before going on her exploitative rampage.?

When Faith accepted the role, she truly did so with a positive disposition. Despite ignoring all of the red flags, she chose to see that working with Queen of Hearts was a great opportunity to learn firsthand from a leader. She chose to believe that this role could open doors to connections or resources.?

None of that happened.?

What did happen was an increasingly gross abuse of power.?

Anyone who has worked at a nonprofit (I have - at several!) knows that the Board of Directors is a huge deal. Yes, they are also a huge deal in corporate and startups. However, for-profit companies have other major stakeholders, like investors and clients. Nonprofits rely heavily on their boards, and some smaller nonprofits are completely financially dependent on their boards for operational costs. This nonprofit was one of those.

When you have a board, you have to have quarterly board meetings. You have to keep your board apprised of what’s going on. These are typically very busy people. Meeting a few times a year is the only real opportunity for them to get into the weeds of what’s happening at the organization they are supporting.

Knowing what I know now, after years at different nonprofits, there are some things I would never delegate to a junior or an intern. Creating the quarterly board meeting presentation is top of the list.?

Imagine Faith, still not even 21 years old, being tasked with creating a quarterly presentation meant to report all major updates to the board. She didn't even know what the board was! Between all of the personal tasks and favors for Mr. Boyfriend,? Faith wasn’t really able to learn much about the organization - her actual job! With no information or even an outline to go by, Faith was stuck. I forgot to mention, she was tasked with this on a Monday night. The Board Meeting was Wednesday morning.?

Faith tried her best, but recognized that she couldn’t really do much. She made sure to call and email her boss all throughout Tuesday, but all she heard were crickets. She created a rough template with some basic parts, but ultimately sent it to Queen of Hearts when she was done for the day.?

To this, Queen of Hearts actually responded.?

“What do I have you for if you can’t do my work?”?

Faith was at a loss for words.?

Queenie called her up and in a cold yet sarcastic and condescending tone told Faith that Faith wasn’t a good leader because she didn’t know how to handle a task. Queenie proceeded to send out a message in the organization’s Slack channel, later in the evening. The message read:?

Faith needs help with this presentation. Can any of you finish this?

No one responded. Of course they didn’t, because it was way past working hours.?

When Faith logged in the next morning, she saw that Queenie made some edits. Ultimately, the presentation looked (in Faith’s own words) like sh*t.

Things have a funny way of working themselves out, because only one board member showed up to the meeting. There wasn't enough quorum but Queen of Hearts still gave her mediocre presentation.?

After another phone call laced with insults, Faith decided it was time to put in her two-week notice. She still had two months left of the internship, but couldn’t take it anymore. She was in shock at how she had been treated as a student and an intern with no previous experience. Faith was physically depleted and tired of the emotional abuse. Never again, she thought.?

On her last day, Queen of Hearts asked to meet in person. Faith wanted to decline, but decided to remain respectful and agreed. She honestly should’ve just stayed home.

“It just so happens that yesterday I was having lunch with my uncle,” Queenie started, “and we both came to the conclusion that you lack dedication. You are a quitter. “?

The words were like a bucket of ice water being poured over Faith’s head.

It turns out that Queenie’s uncle happened to be a professor at the university Faith went to. The year prior, Faith had taken one of his courses. At the end of the semester, the professor had offered to cancel the final exam if everyone agreed to take a Pass on their transcript. Faith couldn’t take the chance. A Pass wasn’t the same as an actual grade and she couldn’t afford to have to retake the class if her department decided that a Pass wasn’t enough to meet the credits required for graduation. Faith was the only student to ask to take the final exam. The professor, Duke of Hearts, actually called up Faith the day of the exam to ask her if she was absolutely sure she wanted to take it. “It’s very difficult, you might not pass,” he warned, but she had stayed up studying for days with the help of her mother and aunt.

What really happened was that the Duke of Hearts never even created the exam. He struck a deal with Faith.

“I’ll give you the same grade you got on the last exam. You’ll be the only student to pass with a grade. Don’t tell anyone.”?

The girl accepted and moved on with her life like a normal person. Fast forward to a year later, Duke decides to omit this part of the story and instead tells Queenie that Faith was a quitter because he had looked at her student file and saw that she quit the swim team.

Did he know that she quit due to an injury? Of course not.?

Did he tell Queenie that Faith was the only student in an entire class willing to take an exam instead of an easy pass? Nope.?

Why? Because the Duke was just like his niece.?

Faith went home and cried. She never even got so much as a Thank You for her work. Instead, she went through a deep depression that lasted almost a year. She stopped working on her business, and focused on finishing school. The days were all the same and even her mother was affected by everything that had happened.?

Faith’s story is a warning to aspiring professionals and executive leaders alike. Egos and power trips can be detrimental to reputations, to people’s wellbeing, and ultimately to the organization you represent.?

For leaders, I want to focus on the lessons we can learn from Queen of Hearts’ faulty leadership style:

Lesson #1: Know When To Fire Yourself?

Queen of Hearts should have not been head of the organization. Chairman of the Board? Sure. This was, to put it plainly, a vanity project to her. Her leadership style was harming the organization and Faith was not the only person mistreated. Overall, Queen of Hearts’ actions misaligned with the organization’s statement and mission. How can you claim to help underserved and underrepresented women, while stepping on those same women who are part of your team??

The board meeting presentation fiasco should've been a top priority. At the bare minimum, Queen of Hearts should have created an outline and circled back for an overall revision. She could have tapped in the department leads to input their corresponding parts - have Programs drop in the numbers, have Partnerships list out all the wins. The Communications team could have hoped in and helped with design. This could’ve been a collaborative effort that had been finished way in advance. But instead, Queen of Hearts put it off for too long and handed it off to an intern who was not qualified. Her toxic leadership was weighing down the organization, and if she was not willing to step up, it was time to step down.?

Lesson #2: Watch What You Say??

Let’s keep this simple: how Queen of Hearts spoke to Faith was unacceptable. Had Faith been older or bolder, she would’ve reported her boss or taken the legal route. Faith was treated like she was less than dirt, not even human. And although I didn’t mention it explicitly throughout the story, there were moments of discrimination based on Faith’s skin color.?

Lesson #3: Keep It Professional

There was no reason why Queen of Hearts and the Duke should have even been speaking about Faith. What Duke did, looking up a student’s file just to find something to disparage them with, is absolutely unethical. Once again, Queen of Hearts and her uncle could have faced legal repercussions for this - it sounds like intimidation at a minimum.?

Being petty and immature, as grown adults, could cost you greatly. Be smart and keep it professional.

Although Faith’s story was disheartening to hear, I am happy to say that she is doing great. It’s been years since she went through this experience and her business is growing at a steady pace.?

“The people close to me used to tell me that I couldn’t handle the job. It used to bother me,” she shared. “But now I understand what they meant. The job didn’t align with my ambitions. It didn’t open any doors. Ultimately it wasn't a right fit for me. But it definitely would have been helpful if I had a network of support - such as other assistants.”?

Faith’s time as an Executive Assistant wasn’t all for naught. She made a few great friends that she still keeps in touch with.?

“The biggest lesson I learned was that the day I hire an assistant, I will make sure they have a completely different experience.”?

Let me tell you, that day is very close. It makes me glad to know that Faith won’t perpetuate the same environment she was thrown into. Unfortunately for Queen of Hearts, Faith hears she hasn’t changed a bit.?