Stepping Back from the Personal: Embracing a Broader View of Life's Challenges
As humans, we all feel a variety of emotions and respond to the events that happen to us in different ways. On occasion, we may become angry, hurt, or frustrated due to the actions of others. The important thing to remember is that a lot of the time, what happens to us is not personal. Breathe
One typical occurrence is when someone does not respond to our text or email or social media post within a reasonable amount of time. We might interpret this as a sign that the person doesn't care about us or is ignoring us even though they may simply be preoccupied or distracted. Similar to the previous example, if someone doesn't buy from you or invite you to a social event, we might assume that they don't like us or don't want us there, when in reality they may have simply forgotten or failed to remember to include us.
Another example of something that might not be personal is someone evaluating or criticizing our work. We might mistakenly interpret this as a personal assessment of our abilities when, in reality, the other person may just be offering us constructive criticism. In a similar vein, when someone disagrees with our beliefs or viewpoints, we might interpret this as a rejection of who we are as a person, when in fact they may only be expressing a different point of view.
Additionally, it's critical to keep in mind that occasionally events occur that are wholly beyond our control. For instance, if we are passed over for a promotion at work, it might be because another candidate was more qualified or experienced, not because our manager or coworkers don't value us. In a similar vein, it's possible that we don't get accepted into a program or college to which we applied not because the admissions committee didn't think we were good enough, but rather because there were better candidates or there weren't enough spots available.
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What then should we do when we encounter circumstances that may not even be personal but still feel that way? To step back and attempt to view the situation objectively is one important thing to remember. Try to think of alternate explanations rather than assuming that someone's actions are an expression of their feelings toward us. Asking the other person for clarification or feedback while communicating with them can also be helpful.
We can also keep in mind that the things that happen to us do not define who we are as people or our worth. We should not assume that we are unqualified simply because we did not receive a promotion or acceptance letter. It's critical to keep in mind that everyone encounters obstacles and failures, and that doing so is a necessary part of developing oneself.
It's important to remember that many times, the things that happen to us are not personal. Instead of taking things too personally, try to look at the situation objectively and consider other possible explanations. Additionally, remind yourself that your worth and value as a person are not determined by the things that happen to you.
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