Step Out of The Traffic

"Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God." Psalm 46:10 (MSG)

We are entering a season that often turned my overstuffed life into a time of even greater frenzy, anxiety, and guilt. At work, I was trying to finish strong while wrapping up the following year's operating plans and writing endless performance appraisals. At home, I was trying to live up to some ridiculous airbrushed version of motherhood - Sunset Magazine decorated home, Southern Living cakes and cookies, Pinterest-worthy wrapping on the gifts.

What was usually lacking was the joy of lingering in the sweet moments of the season. What was mostly present were the rushed trips to the drugstore to get items for the Advent Calendar.

Rest has always been a struggle for me. I didn't have time for it. And I even denied my need to rest, saying things like, "I relax by checking things off my to-do list!" As I have grown older, however, I have started to see that denying myself rest was because of something much more profound than my calendar - it had to do with self-doubt and identity. I felt like I had to earn respect and approval through how hard I worked and how much I accomplished.?

I recognize that I say this from a privileged position of now working where I control the hours, have an adult son, and have financial flexibility. And I also realize that my hard work for several decades gave me some of the flexibility I now enjoy. But I look back on the past decades and wonder about the missed moments, opportunities for deeper relationships, more laughter, and sweeter memories. I hold with tenderness my younger self struggling with yet another miscarriage and, along with the grief, feeling relief that at least I could permit myself to stay in bed for a day. There is nothing about that aligned with God's desires for me.

As Christians, we have a God-given responsibility to rest. It is not a once-a-year two-week vacation that we earn as a reward for our productivity and results. It is a weekly, even daily practice that infuses us with the creativity, energy, and sense of purpose that allows us to do our best work.

Here are things I have been learning that are helping me step out of the traffic.

Three Steps Toward Greater Rest

1. Start with the why. Yes, we have a busy schedule, but our calendar is not our most significant barrier to rest. It might be the fear that we are only as good as our OKR score, that people won't like us if we say no to their requests, or that people need our output more than our presence. Try to be honest about what is getting in the way.?
2. Reframe rest as delight, not sleep or binge-watching Netflix. While many of us need more sleep, we also need mental and emotional rest and moments of joy. The rest can be walking around the neighborhood with your partner, having coffee with a friend, or playing Legos with your little one.??
3. Plan some small experiments. I am trying to re-engage with the idea of the Sabbath as a full day of rest and delight, but I am also 62 and have less pressure on my time than many of you. Just start with some Sabbath moments on your calendar every week. Be intentional about investing in your soul care. Putting more delight into our days gives us more ability to do the work God has called us to do.

December is a great season to prioritize rest and delight more than getting that last item checked off your to-do list. One way I find joy is carving out a few minutes in the morning with a good cup of coffee and a great devotional. In December, I'll be resting with The De Pree Center's free Advent Guide called Holy Disruption. It has short essays by some of my favorite writers; Michaela O'Donnell , Meryl Herr , Uli Chi, PhD and Pamela Ebstyne King The content focuses on Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. Each section includes reflection questions and suggestions for practice.

I hope your Advent season sees you intentionally stepping out of the traffic and into the delightful moments God has for you.